Page 24 of Tempted to Love You
“It’s terrific, but what do you think I should do about the offer? My move would affect both of us.”
How do I tell her that the very thought of her moving has pressure building in my chest from forgetting to breathe? Or how the pain in my heart makes me feel like some of my arteries are clogged? I don’t want to be the reason she turns down a great offer because holding her back will never be my agenda. Yet, I want to stomp like an irate child and tell her to stay with me.
“I think you should do whatever you think is best for you. No matter what you decide, I’m going to support you. You deserve whatever comes to you.”
Even if it’s at the expense of my happiness.
“Okay. I’m going to give it some thought and then go from there. How was your day, though?”
A crap shoot because I couldn’t get over your news to get my head into anything I had to do.
“Oh, it was straight and unproblematic. Do you mind if I end my night with you cuddling against me?”
“Of course, not. When we leave here, I’ll go home to pack a bag and come to your house. Your bed is bigger and more comfortable than mine, so I love sleeping in it.”
“I haven’t noticed because you’re all the comfort I need to sleep well.”
Latia
You are the reason I totally melt inside.
You are why I’m giving love a try.
From the inflection of your pet name to the grip of your hold at night.
You are the reason my heart joyously sings with unabashed delight.
My lover, my life, you, Rakai Crawford, are why my life feels right.
My protector, my safety net, you’ve swiftly become the love of my life.
“Lord, this man has me writing cheesy poems.” Shaking my head, I put my pen down and closed the journal in front of me.
It’s been a week since our discussion about the job offer and I have been all over the place mentally and emotionally. Things between Rakai and me have been moving along, and with each passing day, my heart has been expanding to his presence in my life. Love has been a foregone conclusion that I’m no longer fighting against. Yet, the elephant in the room about the possibility of my moving is weighing on me heavily. I’ve beencontemplating what accepting the position will mean, which shifts me to think about Rakai. I’m torn about what to do, so I’ve been silently moving through my feelings while pretending everything is as it was pre-offer.
Now, I’m distracted while writing mushy poems about Rakai. I think the last time I wrote a poem about a man I was feeling was in high school, after Ms. Norris challenged my class to exercise ourselves for her creative writing assignment. At the time, I thought love was Teddy Brooks carrying my books and telling Natalie I was his main squeeze. Boy, did I set myself up for a rude awakening when I caught Natalie sucking Teddy’s dick three weeks later. Hearing Teddy tell Natalie he loved her repeatedly let me know that he had found someone new to squeeze. The vibrations from my phone has me picking it up to see Rakai’s name flashing on my screen.
“Hello?”
“I just wanted to call to check on you. How’s your day been, mama?”
My smile matches the drumming in my chest at hearing Rakai’s thick cords penetrating my ear canal. This is one of the reasons Rakai has me penning sappy love poems. His ability to be present hasn’t changed since claiming me.
“Uneventful. I was thinking about you, though.”
“Oh, yeah? What were you thinking?” Rakai’s octave drops, causing me to clench my thighs together and lick my quickly drying lips.
“Today would be a great day for dinner and a movie while lying in your arms.”
“Bet. Let me wrap up something at the office, and I’ll head your way.”
Wrinkles spread on my forehead because I didn’t know Rakai was at work since today is Saturday. Despite working at a news station where something is always happening, I work Mondaythrough Friday and an occasional Saturday if something pressing needs my attention.
“I didn’t realize you were working today.”
“Yeah, had to take care of something, but I should be able to head your way within the next hour or two. Do you need me to pick up anything? Popcorn? Something for dinner? Wine?”
“Nope. Do you have an aversion to shrimp?”
