Page 35 of A Curse Carved in Bone
Despair carved out my insides, that fleeting spark of hope extinguished and leaving me in darkness. She’d been my one chance for answers and now I had no notion of where I might turn. My eyes welled with unshed tears, and needing to come out of this moment with something, I said, “Then let it not be for nothing. Bjorn told me that it was not Harald who tried to murder you, but Snorri. From your lips, I would hear all that happened that night.”
Saga took a long drink, then refilled both our cups. “I will give you the truth.”
The fire in the hearth crackled and popped, and the walls of the cabin felt as though they pressed in on us as I waited for Saga to begin.
“From the moment my magic appeared in my youth, I was sought after by jarls and fishwives alike who were eager to know their futures,” Saga said, staring into the depths of her cup. “I would tell them they were fools to wish to know their fates, because with the exception of the Unfated, what will come to pass is certain and unchangeable. To know your own death accomplishes nothing but haunting your living years with an inescapable certainty. It is better not to know.”
“I don’t want to know,” I swiftly said. “I’m already haunted by what you’ve seen of my future.”
Saga’s mouth curved into a smile. “Wise.”
I sighed. “I’ve been accused of many things, but wisdom is not one of them.”
“To know one’s limitations is a form of wisdom.” She was quiet for a long moment, then continued. “To see the futures of everyone I crosspaths with is a burden few can understand. To see that a child will die by drowning or that a hunter will run afoul of a bear or that a mother will risk one last pregnancy only to die in childbirth, but have no ability to save them, isn’t a gift. It’s a curse. So when I was fifteen, I left my family’s home and the village where I had been raised in order to live apart. To hide from all the futures I possibly could, though many people still sought me out.”
“Including Snorri and Harald?”
Saga nodded. “The Allfather showed me little of Snorri’s future other than that he would have sons, but each time Snorri visited me, he asked if I’d seen more. Of Harald, my godly father showed me nothing at all, but Harald did not care about the uncertainty of his future. Instead, he desired to know the futures of others, and it vexed him greatly when I refused to reveal what I knew. He’d bring me the most beautiful gifts to entice me into revealing fates, knowing full well that I never would. Both men were handsome beyond compare in their youth, so I took both as lovers. My appetite for sex was great in those years, and one man could not hope to satisfy me.”
“Both?” My cheeks flushed at her frankness. “Did that not spark jealousy between them?”
“For a long time, neither knew the other shared my bed.” Saga laughed. “Though once they discovered I was entertaining other cocks, neither was pleased. Which I always believed unfair given that Snorri was betrothed to Ylva and Harald always did as he pleased, but such is the way of powerful men. They believe the rules that bind women do not apply to them. Their friendship was always fraught, but discovering they shared me drove a wedge between them that escalated the tensions between Nordeland and Skaland.”
From most women, this would seem an unlikely tale. But Saga was both beautiful and powerful, so it was easy to understand men fighting wars to possess her.
“Always, there is conflict between jarls, endless raids and battles, but in making the conflict between two such powerful men personal, theanimosity became so much worse. Especially after the Allfather graced me with visions of you and what you would achieve, though that comes later in my tale.”
“Do you regret your choice to take both as lovers?” I asked, curious. “Given the consequences?”
“I do not believe in regret.”
I wished I could feel the same. The idea of accepting the mistakes I had made rather than allowing them to consume me with guilt felt so much easier.
“Not long after they discovered they were both my lovers, I fell pregnant with Bjorn.”
“Did you know he had Tyr’s blood?” I asked. “Did…” It was too awkward for me to ask.
“I did not get to experience lovemaking with a god,” Saga clarified. “Tyr was surely there in the moment but clearly took his pleasure from watching Snorri and me together rather than participating. So I did not know at the time that my child had a god’s blood.”
My face felt aflame. “I see.”
“When my stomach began to swell, Snorri demanded that I break off my relationship with Harald.” Saga took a sip of her wine, then shook her head. “That made me very angry because he was to wed Ylva. It would be Ylva who would rule alongside him. Ylva’s children who would inherit the jarldom. I was naught to Snorri but a lover, a seer, and the soon to be mother of a child he voiced no interest in claiming. I was young, and it enraged me that he’d make demands when he gave me nothing in return. Yet I also feared for the child in my belly, for men can be cruel. So I conceded and told Harald that the friendship between us could not continue.”
Her lip quivered. “Though it hurt Harald’s heart as much as mine, he accepted my request even as he made me promise to come to him if ever my circumstances changed. He said his love for me would endure beyond this lifetime.”
I took several mouthfuls of my wine because I knew what it felt liketo hear words like that. Knew what it felt like to have it not come to pass. “Did you love him?”
“Yes. But for all his faults, I also loved Snorri. He had a magnetism about him. An ability to convince me of anything. And young women are easy to fool with sweet words.”
Truer words I had never heard spoken.
“Seers cannot see their own fate.” Saga rose to add a piece of wood to the fire, though the cabin was already warm. “But the moment Bjorn was born, I saw his.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “I saw him call flame. I saw him burn. I heard him scream.”
“He told me that you instructed him never to say Tyr’s name.”
“Yes.” Saga wiped away the tear. “He was four. Perhaps five years old, and Snorri had come to see me. We quarreled, and in the midst, I was overtaken by a vision more powerful than any I’d ever experienced. I fell into a trance, words spilling from my lips in a tide of a shield maiden who would unite the clans of Skaland beneath the one who controlled her fate.”
“Saga, what exactly did you see?” I pressed. “Did you see Snorri? Was it he for certain who was destined to rule? Was it he who was meant to control my fate?”
