Page 36 of A Curse Carved in Bone
“I did not see Snorri.” Her expression was distant, as though she were watching something that was not there. “I saw your face, Freya. With eyes like fire and a crown of blood.”
I drew in a steadying breath. “So not Snorri?”
Saga lifted a shoulder. “I do not see all that is fated. Only the pieces that Odin chooses to reveal to me. Snorri believed that the Allfather had chosen to give me the vision while he was present because it was his fate, so he immediately began to hunt for you. There is no denying that his power has risen considerably since he brought you under his control, as he is now the uncontested king.” She hesitated. “He has used you to unite Skaland, Freya, and in my heart, I fear he still uses you. For the future I saw still burns bright in my mind’s eye.”
I didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer, because of my blood oath.
Sitting back, I stared into the depths of the fire, uncertain how I felt about what she’d told me given that all I’d gained from it was more uncertainty.
“Finding children born under the blood moon became his obsession,” Saga said. “I told him often that if it was his destiny to find you that he would, but my words only enraged him. My unwillingness to confirm that he would be king was a rot on the love between us, and I began to fear him. One night he came to my cabin alone. I knew he wanted answers I could not give, and that he’d punish me for my failure. I made Bjorn hide, but as the violence I feared came to pass, my son tried to protect me. Called upon his magic for the first time and set our home ablaze. And so the fate I’d foreseen for him became reality.”
She lifted her cup, hand trembling. “All around was fire, Bjorn screaming from the burns on his back, but I managed to lift him out of the flames and carry him. Snorri tried to pursue us, but I cracked him over the head with a rock and fled. Fled to the love that had never betrayed me. To my sanctuary.”
“Harald.”
She nodded. “I would have been content to let things be. To live a quiet life in Nordeland. But Odin gifted me another vision of you. I saw thousands of dead beneath your feet with the Skjoldfjell beyond. I could not let my love and savior’s kingdom fall to ruin because I did nothing. So I vowed to change the future. I had no certainty that it was Snorri who would control your fate, but I did know your power would be the tool for Nordeland’s destruction. Snorri had stronger means for finding you, so I ordered that we use him to find you and then send you to the gods. That way the future I saw would be rewoven. And yes,” she gave a soft laugh, “to have vengeance upon him for what he did to me and Bjorn.”
“So you sent Bjorn to watch for me.”
“That was my plan. To arrange for Snorri to finally succeed inrescuingBjorn, who would then feign love and gratitude until you werediscovered, when he would strike the blow that would save Nordeland. But my son could not kill you, Freya, and he has sought to protect you every step of the way. He has been his true self.”
“He lied to me.” I drew in a ragged breath. “Over and over, he lied.”
“The only way he could have risked the truth was to steal you,” Saga explained. “To take you to Nordeland, where you could do no harm with the truth. For to have revealed his goals while you shared a house with Snorri risked you turning on him and, in doing so, cursing Nordeland to the fate he’d sacrificed so much to prevent.”
I found myself on my feet, though I didn’t remember standing. “So you believe what Bjorn did was right? That I should forgive him for lying to me?”
Silence stretched between us, and between the tension and the heat of the air, it was hard to breathe.
Finally, Bjorn’s mother said, “Rightdepends on perspective, Freya. From Nordeland’s perspective,rightwould have been killing you or taking you somewhere you could do no damage. So no, I do not think what my son did was right because he risked many lives. But I think that is not the same reason you believe his actions werenot right.You care only about your hurt feelings. About the damage to your trust in him. You think only of yourself, and knowing that you are Hel’s child, your callousness to others makes a great deal of sense.”
My own anger flared, because I wanted to blame Bjorn. Except Saga’s words forced me to accept that he’d had no good choice. No choice that was right for all involved. I wanted to tell myself that, if he’d have been truthful, I would have heard him out and considered my actions, except I knew otherwise. Nordeland was a known foe, and to have learned that Bjorn fought loyally for them would have turned me against him. Would have caused me to reveal the truth to Snorri in order to protect my people.
“Shit,” I hissed, pacing back and forth across the small space, trying to logically sort through what I had learned while my emotions raged in every direction. Trying to put the good of the many ahead of thehurt in my heart. But it was as though my heart had put her fingers in her ears, refusing to listen to anything that countered how she felt.
“You do not have to forgive him,” Saga said. “I might not forgive him, for I hate being lied to. But do not think that holding on to your anger makes you good and righteous, Freya. It only makes you like every other woman.”
I felt suddenly sick to my stomach, doubt twisting my guts like I’d eaten something rotten.
Was I wrong to be angry with him?
Was I only trying to use Bjorn as a scapegoat when the real problem wasme?
Saga rose, circling the table to wrap a slender arm around me. “I’ve upset you. I’m sorry. Isolation may be a blessing to me, but I think it is a curse to anyone who is forced to bear my company, for I say what I think without thought for how it might hurt.”
“You haven’t said anything that isn’t true,” I answered. “I…I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to die but neither do I want thousands of people to die because of what Hel’s power can do.”
Reaching up, she tucked behind my ear a lock of hair that had come loose from my braid. “Be kind to yourself, Freya. You are but a few years out of girlhood, and you were not raised to cope with the expectations placed upon you. Wisdom comes from years of experience and from learning from one’s past mistakes. Your situation has been made worse as those around you have given poor guidance.”
I bit the insides of my cheeks, an ache at Bodil’s loss rising fresh in my chest, for it felt as though she was the only one who had guided me true.
“You must take a breath.” Saga gestured for me to sit back down. “Take time to consider all that has happened and all that you hope will happen before you decide on a path forward.”
This seemed like reasonable advice, so I sat.
Bjorn chose that moment to return, stepping inside holding a rabbit who’d clearly met a swift end courtesy of a magic axe. I’d normally havemade a comment about overkill but I felt suddenly without the energy to say much of anything at all.
“Is rabbit acceptable to you?” he asked, lifting itup.
