55LYDIA
“This is an unnecessary risk,” Lady Calorian growled angrily. “I can convey your plan to Killian just as easily as you can. All it takes is one of Hacken’s little spies catching sight of my son speaking to you, and this entire ruse will be for naught.”
“No.” Lydia made her voice as firm as possible, trying to hide the churn of apprehension in her stomach. “I need to make him agree to stay with Dareena, because that’s the only way this will work. If I just leave, he’ll come after me.”
Killian’s mother sighed. “I can’t argue that point.”
They both fell silent as they heard a scuffle of noise outside Lady Calorian’s rooms, and a heartbeat later, Killian landed on near silent feet on his mother’s balcony. “Have you lost your gods-damned minds?” he demanded. “There is no way this is going to work.”
“People see what they want to see,” Lydia said, her anxiety immediately diminishing as he pulled her into his arms. “Dareena is only a decade older than I am. With my spectacles, plus the right clothes and a generous amount of war paint, we look strikingly alike. She is going to be everything Hacken wants me to be. He can call her Kitaryia and tour her about, but if you aren’t at her side, he’ll be instantly suspicious. I don’t need to fool him forever, but I do need to fool him long enough to get on a ship to Revat.”
The color drained from Killian’s face. “You’re not actually suggesting that you intend to go to Revat without me? Malahi and Agrippa have already left for Serlania, where they’ll board a ship to sail south. It’s Malahi who needs to find instructions in that library, not you.”
“This sort of research is my speciality,” she said instead of addressing his concern. “Malahi and Agrippa will board a Maarin ship in the harbor, as a distraction, but theKairensewill retrieve me from the beach, and we will sail in their wake. I won’t arrive more than a day after them.”
“Sail alone.”
“Sonia will come with me, and the crew of theKairenseare no strangers,” she said, a band of grief squeezing around her chestbecause the last thing she wanted was for them to be apart. “And I’m not entirely helpless.”
“I know that.” Killian blew out a long breath, then said, “Mother, would you go elsewhere?”
Lady Calorian snorted but crossed the room and disappeared into the bathing chamber, calling out, “Be quick. Dareena will have to play both Lydia and herself, and she’ll need our help to make it work.”
The door shut.
“Hacken is many things, but not a fool,” Killian said. “Dareena might be able to trick him for a few days, but he’s going to figure out she isn’t you.”
“So what if he does?” Lydia leaned against him, trying to project confidence that she didn’t feel into her voice. “All he wants is a puppet anyway, and Dareena can play that role just as well as I can. It isn’t as though he’s going to send someone to drag me back from Revat.”
“Don’t be so sure.”
“We are desperate, Killian,” Lydia said quietly. “All we learned in Anukastre is that it’spossibleto destroy the blight, but not how. Just as I know that it’s possible to draw it out of those who are infected but not on the scale we need. Revat’s library is our best hope at finding the answers.” She bit her lip because she’d said nothing that he didn’t already know. “No one has a future if we don’t find a solution, including us.”
He twisted away from her. “And even then, we may not, because some other obstacle will fall between us.”
Lydia’s heart ached, because she understood how he felt to have climbed over so many barriers to find their way into each other’s arms, only to be torn apart again. She followed him across the room, pressing her forehead between his shoulder blades, feeling the rapid beat of his heart. “No matter where I am, no matter how many leagues between us, my heart is yours, Killian Calorian. And I will always fight my way back to you.”
“I’m the one who is supposed to do the fighting.”
For a long moment, she didn’t speak, only focused on the steady throb of his heart. “The fight is coming for all of us. I can feel it, and I know you can as well.” She tightened her grip on his waist. “The Corrupter has planned this for a very long time, and we are outmatched on every front. You have had faith in me in my darkest moments. Please don’t lose faith in me now.”
“Never.” He turned in her arms, lowering his head to kiss her. “I’m with you, no matter what the end.”
Lydia kissed him back, wanting desperately to lose herself in him. His tongue stroked across hers, his hand running down her back to curve over her bottom, then jerking her closer. Her fingers tangled in his hair, and she wanted so much more than was possible. Wanted one final moment with him before they raced off to fight separate battles. But they had so little time.
Lady Calorian knocked softly on the door, and Lydia reluctantly stepped backward as Killian’s mother reentered the room. Her eyes were red, as though she’d been weeping. “You need to return to Dareena, Killian. You are as critical to her act as all the war paint she’s using to conceal her identity, and I fear she’ll already have ruined the ruse with her incessant cursing. Go.”
Killian sighed, then bent to kiss Lydia one last time. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she whispered, then watched him escape back out the balcony.
Lady Calorian went to the door, and Sonia entered, carrying two travel bags slung over her narrow shoulders. Though she nearly always wore a shirt and trousers, her friend was dressed in a simple dress with scarf concealing her short brown hair. “We should go,” her friend said. “Malahi has already left in Seldrid’s coach, and we’ll go cross country on foot. Seldrid’s sent word ahead to Captain Vane to meet us on the same beach where they brought you to shore.”
Killian’s mother approached Lydia, gently taking her by the shoulders. “Your mother was my friend,” she said quietly. “And I know Camilla would be so very proud of the woman you have become.”
The words were unexpected, and a jolt of grief hit Lydia in the chest. “She died bringing me to safety in Celendor. She… she could have been saved if she’d stayed in the West and found a healer.”
“If given the chance, I know she’d have done the same thing all over again because protecting you was what mattered most,” Lady Calorian said, her eyes liquid with tears. “It is what mothers do.”