Page 29 of Scorched Earth
“This is all wonderful news,” Agrippa interrupted, catching Malahi’s wrist and tugging her away from Lydia. “But there are several thousand corpses hunting for a way around that wall, and once they find it, they’ll be in pursuit. Perhaps we might save conversation for later, when we have put them off our trail.”
“I’ll catch the horses,” Baird muttered. “Foolish animals can’t have gotten far.”
Malahi swayed with exhaustion, and Agrippa immediately caught her elbow and steadied her, the pair speaking quietly as he led her away.
Killian watched them for a long moment, then said to Lydia, “I knew you were struggling, but not once in the past days have you said that you didn’t have it under control. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I was ashamed.” She looked anywhere but at him. “The Six themselves pulled out the Corrupter’s claws, but a big part of me wants to fall back into his control. I know what Malahi said is right, that allowing my mark to be corrupted makes me weaker, not stronger, but it doesn’t feel that way in the moment. It makes me feel invincible.”
“Agrippa proved otherwise.” His tone was flat, and Killian winced, knowing that he wasn’t helping. Hegeria had said that this would be a lifelong battle for Lydia, but a big part of him had been certain that the worst was over. Had been convinced that the memories of what she’d done, what it had been like to be under the Corrupter’s influence, would be enough motivation to keep her from slipping up again. But he’d been wrong. “How can I help?”
He took a step toward her, but Lydia took a quick step back.
“I need space,” she whispered. “I… I can’t be tempted. Not yet.”
Unbidden, Killian’s eyes moved to their companions. Agrippa lifted Malahi into the saddle of the horse Baird had caught before swinging up behind her. Malahi leaned back against him, and a flood of envy ran through Killian. Not for their closeness, but for how easy things seemed between them. Something as simple as touch, which they took for granted and yet was forbidden to him and Lydia, the stakes her sanity and his life.
Killian’s hands balled into fists, the urge to curse and shout and slam his fists intosomethingnearly overtaking him. All he wanted to do was help her, yet the best thing he could do for Lydia was to stay away. “I understand.”
“It’s not fair.”
There was bitterness in Lydia’s voice, and he noted her hands were as tightly fisted as his own.
“The only reason we haven’t been together is because of the obligation you felt to Malahi. The guilt you felt over her being imprisoned. But not only did she free you, she seems to have forgiven you,” she said. “Yet the gulf between us feels bigger than it was before. It’s my fault, and I—”
“It’s not your fault.” He reached for her, then caught himself and shoved his blood-smeared hands into his pockets where they could do no damage. “You’ll learn to control it. It will get better.”Please let it get better.“I will be at your back, come what may.”
Lydia wiped at her eyes, then gave a tight nod.
I love you,he wanted to say.I will always love you.
But sensing that the admission would only make both of them feel worse, he said, “We should ride. Night is coming, and we need to have good cover before more deimos take over the skies.”
12MARCUS
“He’s dying, sir.”
“Keep him alive! We’re almost to Aracam!”
“He’s had six seizures in as many hours. He might still be breathing, but he’s never going to wake up, sir. His brain is pulp.”
“Fuck! Go, then! And consider yourself demoted, you incompetent sack of shit!”
Marcus could hear them, but he could not move. Could not open his eyes. Could not speak.
There was nothing but sound and pain.
“Shit!”
“Might I make a suggestion, young master?”
“Unless it’s a way to keep him alive to deliver to Felix, I don’t want to hear it, Zaide.”
“It is, young master. We have medicines. Your healer…surgeon, yes? He would not take my advice, but desperate times call for desperate measures, would you not say?”
“Do it. I don’t care what it is—do it. If it works, I’ll have that useless shit flogged for not listening before.”
Through the pain, Marcus felt hands grasping him. Someone forced his mouth open and pouring something down his throat, the noise of Titus cursing like knives in his skull, but then even pain slipped away as his mind fell away into nothingness.
