Page 60 of Scorched Earth
“Back to camp.”
22KILLIAN
Killian watched Agrippa tie Lydia to a thick pine tree.
“You’re not doing her any favors,” he muttered. “She can’t spend every night for the rest of her life tied up, and once we reach Anukastre, you’ll be out of trees.”
“You’re quite right, Lord Calorian,” Agrippa snapped. “I’mnotdoing Lydia a favor. I’m doingmyselfa favor so that I can get some gods-damned sleep without fear of having the life drained out of me while I dream. As far as the tree situation goes, I’ll truss her up like a pig for a solstice feast once we’re in the desert if that’s what is required.”
Lydia nodded as though this made perfect sense, and Killian had to curb the urge to scream in frustration that this was her solution. And frustration with himself for not being able to offer anything better.
“It allows me to sleep,” she said. “The last thing I need is to become so exhausted that I can’t control myself.”
“Which is fantastic, because it means I won’t have to bear the lifelong guilt of having killed you. Baird, shift over, would you.” The giant moved from where he’d been sitting next to Malahi, and Agrippa took up the position.
“Don’t pretend you’d shed any tears over my death.” Lydia accepted the jerky Baird pulled from his pack to toss to her.
“I would,” Agrippa retorted around a mouthful of food. “Also I’m an ugly crier, so let’s avoid it.”
“Did I actually hear you admit you aren’t good at something, little man?” Baird said. “I think that’s a first.”
“It’s a short list but crying is first on it. I get all pathetic and red in the face, so I avoid it at all costs. And don’t call me that. I’m not short, you are all just abnormally tall. Except for you, Majesty.”
He smiled at Malahi, who rolled her eyes and said, “I knew there was a reason you rescued me, and there it is.”
They all laughed, Lydia included, and Killian hated it. Hated that they were joking about murdering Lydia, which he knew Agrippa would do without hesitation or the slightest bit of remorse. Hated that Lydia seemed to almost welcome that inevitability, because it felt to Killian as though she had taken the first step toward giving up. He didn’t know how to protect her from that.
You’ve already failed her. Just like you failed Malahi. Just like you failed Mudamora.
Killian shoved away the thought, focusing on brushing mud from the horses’ legs, but it was insidious, seeming to infect every part of him.
“What’s eating you up?”
Killian twitched, not having heard Baird approach. The giant was shockingly silent when he wanted to be. “I don’t find Lydia’s death something to laugh about.”
“I reckon you don’t.” Baird patted the horse’s neck. “Though if it helps, none of them do, either. Agrippa doesn’t want to hurt the lass, Killian, but he’s also committed to Malahi’s safety, and Lydia’s a threat to that. The ropes… it’s the only solution he has to offer, and that he’s joking about it only means he hates it.”
It was hard to argue with that, but Killian was too pissed off to let it go, so he said, “What happened between them before we met up? Why is Agrippa so set on watching Malahi’s back?”
“What happened between them is their business, but as to Agrippa’s motivation…” Baird trailed off, eyes on the midnight sky as he thought. “We were there when Rufina brought Malahi into Deadground. We had to watch as Rufina tortured Malahi to try to get her to grow the blight, but Malahi refused. Agrippa… To say that he admired her understates his feelings because it goes beyond that. Malahi did what he couldn’t when she stood against Rufina. He hated every moment of leading that bitch’s army, hated what he was doing, but he saw no other way through. Malahi revealed a different path, and given the chance to follow her light out of the darkness, he took it. Which you should be glad for, because it has allowed you the opportunity to focus on Lydia.”
“I am.” Even if his focus had amounted to nothing. “He’s better at it, anyway.”
Baird gave a soft laugh that reminded Killian of his father, then the giant said, “Well, for one, he was trained to do it. He served as a bodyguard to your new nemesis in the south before they parted ways. Two, he’s well suited to it—likes to do it—whereas you prefer to lead soldiers into battle. Agrippa wants Malahi to be his only focus.”
“I want Lydia to be my only focus, but instead of keeping her safe, I’ve done nothing while she’s been trussed up like an animal.”
Baird’s thick hand moved to rest on Killian’s shoulder. “Have you stopped to consider that this might be less about you and more about the girl in question?” When Killian didn’t answer, the giant said, “Malahi isn’t a fighter, but more than that, she doesn’t want to be. She’s not got a violent bone in her body, but there are a good many people who wish violence upon her. She needs someone to be her shadow, who will do what she can’t—what she won’t—and Agrippa is capable of filling that role in every possible way. Except you know as well as I do that Lydia doesn’t want to be protected—she wants to be able to protect herself. What she needs is an ally who will stand back-to-back with her in every fight. Even the ones she has with herself.”
Everything the giant said made sense, though Killian felt no more like an ally than he had a protector. “Gods, you remind me of Bercola,” he muttered. “All my wisdom coming from giants.”
“Bercola?”
“The giantess who served as my bodyguard when I was a child, and then stood as my friend after that.” Until she’d sided with Malahi and nearly killed Lydia. “I miss her.”
The air filled with a heavy silence.
“She wouldn’t happen to be near sixty years of age? A warrior of the highest caliber and as beautiful as a sunrise after the darkest night?”
