Page 65 of I Do, I Do, I Do
“That is what you’re saying, isn’t it? That Newcastle isn’t an obstacle between us?”
Sadness chased the laughter from her eyes. Courtship was out of the question. She had a husband and she had no future. Both situations put a cramp in any courtship plans. But Juliette and Clara were right. Surely she was entitled to a little happiness in what would be a brief life.
Setting aside her supper plate, she looked down at her clasped hands. “Courtship usually leads to marriage. But you need to understand that I can’t marry you, Tom.”
Her statement didn’t ruffle his pleased smile. “Let’s not put the cart before the horse. I’m not proposing marriage, only courtship. Courtship is when both parties get to know each other and decide if they want to proceed to an engagement.”
“We already know each other.” She narrowed her gaze. “I know you well enough to know that you don’t start something you don’t intend to finish.”
His laugh crinkled his eyes and widened his mouth. “Could be I don’t want to scare you away by rushing you.”
“I have reasons…” She bit her lip. “There are things I can’t tell you…”
“I know. I hope you’ll confide in me when the time is right.”
After she found Jean Jacques and shot him, Tom would learn the whole story. But she wasn’t willing to put Jean Jacques between them just yet. Not tonight.
“As long as you accept that our courtship is a sham, and it absolutely won’t lead to anything more…”
He shook his head. “I don’t accept anything of the kind. Look at the progress we’ve already made, and we’ve just begun.” His smile faded, replaced by a seriousness and intensity that made her catch a quick breath. “You and I were meant to be, Zoe. I guess I’ve always known it. If you hadn’t come to the Yukon, I would have gone looking for you. I don’t see it any other way.”
“Oh, Tom.” Juliette was right again. She could love this man so much. “Don’t say that.”
“I’m going to say it over and over, Zoe, because I love you. I always have.”
They stared at each other across the flames dying in the fire pit. Joy, despair, surprise, regret—Zoe wondered if he could read those emotions in her expression. If so, what would he make of them?
“There’s so much I want to say to you,” she whispered, her mouth dry. “But I can’t.”
“Are you cold?” he asked when the silence between them had lengthened.
She had forgotten about the snow and sinking temperature. “A little.”
“I’ll clean up. You crawl into the lean-to and get warm.”
“It will go faster if we both clean up.” Glad for something to do, she washed her plate with snow. “I can’t imagine the lean- to will be much warmer than out here.”
“It will be.”
After they repacked the plates and utensils in the box on the sled, Zoe entered the pine-scented lean-to, and Tom followed. He put down the lantern and then leaned out the doorway. With a long pair of tongs he lifted several rocks out of the fire pit and placed them inside the skillet he’d brought with him. At once the air felt warmer on Zoe’s face.
Now she saw that he’d rearranged the blankets and pillows she had set out, moving them close together.
“For warmth,” he said, taking off his hat and heavy coat. “You’ll be more comfortable if you take off your hat and coat, too.” When she looked doubtful, he smiled. “You can always put them back on.”
Slowly she opened the scarf tied over her hat, then removed her hat pins and set her hat near his. Then she unbuttoned her coat and pulled off her gloves. Until now she hadn’t allowed herself to wonder about sleeping with him in the lean-to. If Juliette thought her nakedness had created a scandal, wait until she and Clara realized that Zoe and Tom had spent the night together. The thought made her smile.
“You are so beautiful,” Tom said in a husky voice.
“I’m too thin, and I’m tough as an old boot, remember?”
“But I happen to like tough, thin women, remember?” He smiled and patted the blanket next to him.
Suddenly Zoe was nervous. There was no more privacy in a prospector’s camp than there had been in the home where she grew up. Being alone with a man—absolutely alone and with a man who made her nerves zing and her skin tingle—was an experience that was exciting and unnerving at the same time.
“Are you afraid of me?” he asked in a low, challenging voice.
She wet her lips and decided this was not the time for bravado. “You scare me to death.”
