Page 50 of The Most Wonderful Crime of the Year
“My dad was in the army.”
Instantly, Maggie wanted to bolt uprightand ask a dozen questions, but there was a tension in his muscles, a tightness in his breath. It was like the words were painful. Like even the guy who takes the bullet was only brave enough to say them in the dark.
“So we moved. A lot. He was... ambitious. No.” Ethan’s chest rose and fell too quickly—the silent laugh you give when nothing is funny anymore. “If ambition is hunger, then my father was starving. Unfortunately, ambition meant promotions and promotions meant moving and... I went to ten schools in twelve years is what I’m saying. So I didn’t go to birthday parties either.”
It was the nicest thing he could have told her, and even though Maggie never would have used the wordswarmorcozyto describe the man beside her, she somehow found herself nestling in, eyelids getting heavy. When he settled a blanket over her, she knew she should tell him to get off her bed. To go back to his room. To leave her alone. But she felt warm and contented and... safe.
Maggie felt safe for the first time in years, and a part of her wanted to pick apart that feeling, peel back the pieces and lay it bare. But another—stronger—part of her just wanted it to last a little while longer.
“Maggie...” The voice was lower now. Like he’d been fighting a war within himself. Like he was losing. “About what you heard... in New York...”
And just like that the spell was broken.
“Don’t.” She didn’t want to have this fight, but the fight had come looking for her and she was already up and scooting to the other side of the bed.
“Please. I want to explain.”
“Not tonight, Ethan. I’m too tired to hear about how I misunderstood or how you didn’t mean it or—”
“Ididmean it. I meant every word.”
Maggie’s blood turned to ice and then she said, “Get out.”
“He was always going to leave you, Maggie.”
“I said get out.”
She was almost out of the bed whenthe whole blanket started to move, dragging her backward with it like a conveyor belt. “Maggie, stop. Please. Listen. He was always going to leave you because you changed the rules.”
She felt the words like a slap she should have seen coming. “Yeah. Of course it was my fault.” Everything was always her fault.
“You were never supposed to outshine him!” Ethan blurted and Maggie froze. Even her heart stopped beating as his eyes went soft and his voice dropped. “You were never supposed to do more than he did. You weren’t supposed tobemore. You sure as hell weren’t supposed toearnmore. I know men like that. I come from a long line of men exactly like that, so believe me when I say he needed you to be less than him, and you were always going to be more.”
He raised a hand like he didn’t know what to do with it. It shook in the chilly air, and when she felt a warm finger brush across her cheek to wipe away a tear it almost broke her.
“There’s no way, no universe, no reality in which you aren’t the brightest star in the whole damn sky, and...” His cheeks flushed. His hand shook, and he looked away like, suddenly, he was the one who was embarrassed. “That’s all I wanted to say.”
He was already halfway off the bed when Maggie caught his wrist. She felt it tremble, but for a moment they just sat in the glow of stars-on-snow, feeling his pulse pound beneath her fingers.
“Stay where you are.”
He was biting back a grin as she crawled beneath the covers and lifted one corner, waiting for him to join her.
“Stop smirking,” she warned him.
“I’m not smirking.”
“You’re just warm.”
“I’m hot,” he said with his cockiest grin. “Say it.I’m hot.” The voice was low and close and... teasing. “Hey, wanna make out?”
And Maggie—sleepy Maggie—tried her hardest not to grin. “No, thank you.”
“Okay. If you change your mind, let me know.”
“Okay.”
But as Maggie turned on her side and closedher eyes, she hated how much she was smiling.
