Page 16 of Murder in Calusa Cove
He shrugged. “We’re all trying. That’s what matters.”
“My parents hate that I became an FBI agent. My dad is always telling me it’s like losing the only daughter he has left, but in the next breath, he’s telling me how proud he is and how much he loves me.” She smacked her palm on her forehead. “My mom waffles between crying because I carry a gun and telling all her friends what a badass I am.”
“Mickey and I have gotten closer this past year, and we both went to Doug’s wedding. Considering Doug married the daughter of one of the church elders, it’s a big deal that Mickey and I were even allowed to attend. I think my dad might have had something to do with that. But both of my folks are still hurt over how I left and the fact that I have no faith in religion or God at all, and I won’t bow my head or go to any church function, except weddings. They feel as though I’ve turned my back on everything they believe in and raised their family to believe.”
“What about the rest of your siblings?”
“We all try to chat now and again, which has gotten easier since they’ve all put landlines in their homes. But everyone, except me and Mickey, follows the Ascended Fellowship doctrine, and I do struggle with that. I’m trying to keep an open mind when it comes to communication, just not the religion, its teachings, or the community. Outside of major family gatherings, I won’t ever go back. It’s hard for me.”
“I can understand that.” Chloe relaxed a little, resting her arms on the counter. “Any other big secrets?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” He laughed, shaking his head. “There are things about my life I haven’t told you, but they aren’t secrets. Not as in I’ve lied to you about anything. So, if you want to know something, all you have to do is ask. I might be private, even with my friends, but when asked a direct question, I’ll answer.”
“Okay. I’ve got one.” Slowly, she rose and strolled across the small kitchen. She rested her hand on the center of his chest. “I told you that I didn’t do relationships because of my job, and that wasn’t a lie.”
He curled his fingers around her wrist. “No, but let’s be real. It has more to do with finding Heather’s killer.”
“And the fact that I can’t give myself to someone until I have answers, because it wouldn’t be fair.” She arched a brow. “I know what it’s like to lose a sibling—a twin—and it’s devastating.”
Hayes nodded. It was a pain he couldn’t even put into words if he tried, so he didn’t.
“We’ve spent the last couple of months sleeping together whenever I pop into town, but we were about having a good time. I made it clear that my career was my number one priority and that The Ring Finger Killer was my focus. The only thing you ever said was that you were cool with that. I didn’t press as to why because you mentioned early on that you weren’t ever interested in a long-term commitment.”
He lowered his chin. “Are you curious now as to why I easily agreed to a fling?”
“I want to know why you don’t do relationships because everything you’ve told me doesn’t feel like the reason for giving up on having a life partner.” She patted his chest. “Even I haven’t forsaken that idea, but I have put it on the back burner until I can give someone all of me. Once we find the killer, I want to get married and have a family.”
He lifted her hand and kissed the swell of her palm. Her skin tasted like peaches, and she smelled like a meadow. It was intoxicating, and he missed her, but that didn’t mean he could open his heart completely. “I didn’t know that about you.”
“Nick leaving hurt, and I’ll admit, that did a number on me, but I’ve never been opposed to sharing my life. I just can’t do it when every waking thought is about Heather and making sure the person who killed her is put behind bars. So, when I do get involved, I make it clear it’s temporary. I was glad you didn’t have any issues with that, but now I’m curious as to the profound turning point in your life that soured you on relationships, especially since you seemed to be so butt-hurt over me ending things.” Her gaze held him captive. It was sweet, kind, loving, even. She was impossible to resist, but until now, he’d been able to avoid the big conversations…about himself.
He traced her jawline with his index finger. “I wasn’t ready—still not ready—to call whatever this is between us over.” He pressed his index finger over her lips, shushing her. “And because I’d like us to pick up where we left off, I owe you an explanation as to why I’m gun-shy about women.”
“Sounds like someone ripped your heart out.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” He rested his hands on her hips, resisting the urge to crush her to his chest, kiss her until he bruised her lips, and hoist her over his shoulder, carrying her off to his bedroom. “I was young, about to turn eighteen. I was lying to my parents about my future plans. My girlfriend—who I thought loved me—betrayed me by informing not only my folks of what I’d been doing, but all the elders of the church.”
“This might be a dumb question, but why would that matter once you turned eighteen and they weren’t holding you hostage?” She angled her head slightly, her chin dipping as curiosity—or maybe doubt—shadowed her expression.
He chuckled. “Adaline wasn’t ready to break the rules. The whole idea scared her, and she wasn’t going to run off with me.” Hayes shrugged. “While that hurt, I wasn’t heartbroken. I joined the Navy and went on with my life, except I did have some residual trust issues.”
Chloe placed her hands on his shoulders, massaging gently. “I take it some other woman broke that trust.”
“I dated a girl for a year shortly after boot camp. It got serious, but I wasn’t ready for marriage or anything like that. However, that’s all Tiana could think about. She dropped hints about it every time we went out. I kept telling her the guys and I were applying for SEAL training, and that meant moving, and my head wasn’t in the marriage bubble.” He sighed. “We fought all the time, so I broke up with her. Two weeks later, she showed up at the house that my team and I rented, and she informed me she was pregnant.”
“You’ve got a kid?” Chloe’s voice screeched.
“There was no baby. She lied, and I never married her.” He lowered his chin. “I didn’t believe her for one second and demanded proof. She tried to fake a miscarriage two days later.”
“Are you sure?”
“Damn sure,” Hayes said.
“Wow, your friends must have jumped down her throat.”
Hayes frowned. “To this day, they don’t know what went down between me and Tiana. They knew something happened, but I never told them.”
“Holy crap. And here I thought I was the one with all the secrets.”
