Page 61 of The Billionaire's One-Night Stand Nanny
“I know you wanted this to be a secret,” he said. “I thought I did, too. But Charlie knows now, it’s not just us anymore. I promise you he’ll keep this secret, but… would it be so bad if–”
I could feel the burn of tears behind my eyelids.
I had triedso hardto pretend that what I felt for Ryan wasn’t serious. Wasn’tanything. Just sex. Just fun. It had been easy, in the beginning, and as long as Ryan felt the same, it had been possible to maintain the illusion.We were casual. This wasn’t a big deal.
And then, once that had been impossible to maintain, my excuses had shifted.This wasn’t permanent, Ryan and me. It was only for the summer.Hard and fast, like an afternoon storm.
But…
Come with me to the engagement party.
That wasn’t the kind of thing one did casually, or on a whim. This was Ryan’s ex-wifewe were talking about. Maddie’smother.
That he’d even asked me…
“Don’t,” I said. His morning scruff rasped against my damp hair. His embrace was too tight, his body too hot against mine, suffocating. I sat up, pulling the sheet around me and dropping my legs over the side of his bed.
“Flora, sweetheart–”
“Please, Ryan. Don’t.” I blinked back the tears so that when I turned to look at him, my eyes were clear. “You always tell me: anything I want.” He was propped on one elbow, his body relaxed but his face contorted into a deep frown. It hurt to look at him, but I forced myself to do it anyway. “Don’t ask me that. That’s what I want. Please.”
“But why?” he asked.
Because it hurts too much to know I could have you.
“I’ve accepted a teaching position,” I said. My voice was stable, even as my heart broke.
The kids need me,I repeated in my head.This is the opportunity of a lifetime. I love my career. The students need me.
Ryan didn’t need me. He was handsome and rich, and this was New York City. There were a thousand women here he could take to Tally’s engagement, or take home and impress with his incredible cooking. Sleep with, here, in his bed, in his beautiful house. Kiss, bless with his soft morning smile.
You need him,my heart said, but I smothered that thought, down deep where it didn’t hurt quite so much. Just an ache. It would go away. I didn’t need anybody. I never had, since I was a kid, and I learned that leaning on someone was just a good way to fall over when they walked away. A paycheck that I earned doing a job I loved? That was solid, familiar ground, and on solid ground, I didn’t need support.
“That’sgreat–” Ryan said, warm and supportive.
“At Maddie’s school.”
CHAPTER29
Ryan
Silence stretched between us.
She’d gotten the job.
I knew she would. And I’d known, when I’d asked for Charlie’s help in getting her name in front of the principal, what it would mean.
That this would be over.
I’d thought when I referred her that the end would be a relief.
It felt more like a death sentence.
And it had been me who signed the death warrant.
“For my job… I can’t keep doing this, with–with a parent,” she said at last.
Sleeping with your employer was one thing when you were a nanny, when it was a secret shared between two people, when it was just a small, private cocoon of pleasure, hidden from the outside world.
