Page 66 of The Billionaire's One-Night Stand Nanny
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I didn’t go home between work and theFriday night Bankworth thing. It was selfish and cowardly, and I knew it. I’d send Flora her last check, and I’d never see her again.
I took a taxi up from Midtown and was first to arrive at the Bancroft Club. I ordered two whiskeys, finishing one and most of the second before the others even arrived.Was Flora home yet,I wondered,or was she still in the back of my car, somewhere between here and Brooklyn?Her scent often lingered in the backseat when Daniel picked me up in the mornings, fresh and sweet and floral. It would fade soon enough, like a cut flower always did.
I told myself that I would drink until I forgot, but even as James and Charlie and, finally, Barrett arrived–Charlie giving me a short, serious nod–thoughts of Flora remained. I couldn’t focus on the conversation, and after a while, I didn’t bother trying. I ordered another whiskey instead, and then switched to beers, thinking I should probably slow down. Even in my state of increasing intoxication, I couldn’t just let go. I gripped my pint glass tighter, until my knuckles were white and I feared the glass might crack. That was what had gotten me into this mess, wasn’t it? A broken glass? But it had been before that, even. The beginning of the summer, a pretty girl, sad in a sundress, a florid purple cover.Ravished by the Rake.I was no rake. This would be easier if I was, then I wouldn’t feel so muchpain–
“Ryan,” James’s voice cut through my spiraling thoughts. He was looking at me with concern in his eyes. Four of them. “Ryan?”
“He’s overserved,” Barrett said and laughed. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you like this, Walker.”
“I’m fine,” I said. “I think I should go home.”
“Is your driver here?” Charlie asked. “Or do you want me to call you a cab?”
I shook my head; the room spun dizzily.
“I’ll walk.”
I stood. It only took me two tries.
“Oh no, you won’t,” James said.
“Just because you’re the oldest,” I said, “doesn’t mean you’re in charge of me.”
Barrett laughed distantly. “You’re spending too much time with ten-year-olds, Ryan; you’re starting to sound like one yourself.”
“He was never that bratty when we were ten,” Charlie countered. “That was me.” I nodded.
“That’s right, that’s why you got kicked in the nuts,” I said, and my throat went unexpectedly tight.
“Oh, fuck you,” Charlie said with a sigh. “You want to walk, fine. I’ll walk with you.”
“No, Charlie, you should stay here, it’s–”
“We’ll all go,” James said. “Right, Barrett?”
“Ah. Right,” he said. “I’ll just–” He pulled a stack of cash from his wallet and tossed it down on the table, and we made our way to the door. James looped my arm over his shoulder as we got out onto the street.
“Don’t want you falling in a gutter before we get home,” he grumbled.
“Thanks a lot,” I grumbled back, but I didn’t pull away. My feet were unsteady. Barrett walked ahead of us and I stared at his shoes, matching his pace.Left, right, left, right.
“Is this about Tally?” James said, low in my ear.
I scoffed. “Ha.”
“You can’t blame me for asking,” James said. “It has to be hard, having her in your life, even after you’re over.”
Ithadbeen hard, the past week. Like having a ghost in my home. Maddie had noticed it, too.Flora is sad, I think, Dad, she’d said,that summer vacation is almost over. But did you know, she’s going to teach at my school this year! I’ll get to see her every day still!I’d smiled at her over our stir fry. She was innocently self-absorbed, as all children were, and it made me happy that she didn’t know any better. That her parents’ lives and her teachers’ lives and even the life of the man scooping her favorite ice cream at the place down the street all revolved around her was a given, and I’d worked hard to keep it that way. Maddie had gotten what she wanted: Flora. Flora had gotten what she wanted: a job. And what I wanted was for Maddie and Flora to get whatever they wanted.
Anything you want, flower,I thought. My mantra this week.
“Itishard,” I mumbled. I’d forgotten the question.
“You’re doing what’s right for Maddie, though,” he said, and I nodded.
“I know. Don’t Ifuckingknow.”
