Page 78 of The Billionaire's One-Night Stand Nanny
“I need you to say it,” I said. “Please.”
“I only wanted to bring you,” he said.
The breath I sucked in was icy-cold, lancing through my lungs.
“But your blind date…” I asked. He grabbed my shoulders, his eyes on mine.
“I didn’t go. I didn’t go on any dates, I only wanted you,” he said, his grip around my shoulders softening. One thumb swept over my coat where my collarbone would be. “Sweetheart, I–”
My heart swelled in my chest, thumping painfully. “Ryan,” I whispered. “I need you to tell me again.”
And he did. I stared at him with blurring vision as he moved his hands from my shoulders to my cheeks. They felt warm on my skin, and I knew it was only because my cheeks were colder. “I only wanted you.Wantyou. I’ve spent the past four months wanting you, flower. I hate myself for letting you go, and then hate myself more for wanting to keep you when Iknowthat’snot what you want–”
He cut off with a choked sound, and I reached up and covered his cold hands with my mittened one.
“And Ipromisedyou, Flora,” he said, his eyes burning into mine from beneath furrowed brows. “Ipromisedyou.Anything you want.I thought that I gave you that, but now…” He exhaled in a soft sigh. “You’re here. So tell me, Flora, please. Tell me:What do you want?”
I let myself, for the first time, imagine everything I wanted, what I really wanted:
Ryan’s arms around me, on a Friday night and on a Monday morning.
To stand beside him, at a society event or just at the park, my hand in his.
For Maddie to call meFloraagain, notMiss Connelly.
For the two of them to maybe, someday, call mefamily.
I knew what I wanted.
“I want,” I said, closing my eyes, biting my lip until I thought it might bleed. “I want you to wait for me.”
“Sweetheart,” he said, and I thought for a second I’d asked for too much already, but when I opened my eyes, I saw his brown ones looking back at me unhesitatingly.
“I want you to wait for me,” I said again, rushing the words out. “Just until the end of the year. Maddie… Maddie won’t be at my school anymore, she’ll be starting middle school.”
“And then?” His voice was soft as he prompted me to continue. “Anything, flower.”
“And then… I want you to hold on to me. I want you to not let me go. I want you to take care of me, like you always–” My throat pinched closed over the words. “Like you’ve always done. And I want you–I want you to love me.”
“Oh, Flora,” he said, and his forehead met mine again, his fingers skimming over my cheekbones as our frozen breath wrapped us in a private cloud. “I already do.”
CHAPTER38
Flora
The last dayof school was a Thursday, so I was surprised to see the single flower on my desk. It was a rose today, perfect and pink, and I picked it up from where it lay across my computer’s keyboard, bringing it to my nose and inhaling its soft fragrance.
I poured some water from my water bottle into the little bud vase I’d taken to keeping on my desk, then dropped the flower into it. I set it next to my computer and smiled, then unfolded the tiny note, already knowing what it would say:
For my flower.
I sloughed off my purse, opening the desk drawer where I kept it during the school day. Since January, it had also held a small paper box, which had filled, one by one, with similar notes: every Friday, without fail. Ryan and I weren’tdating. We weren’t sleeping together. We hadn’t kissed since that night at the Bancroft Club when he took me home to his place, curled his body around me in his soft, familiar bed, and held me until I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. In the morning, we’d talked, laid everything out. Our friends would know–they already did, after I showed up and Ryan disappeared and a confused James found Edie tearful and happy on the sidewalk after another message delivered by the Bancroft’s disgruntled host–but we wouldn’t share this secret with Maddie. We would keep our distance until June, knowing that proximity would be a challenge.
But every Friday, there had been a single flower waiting for me at my desk.
A reminder.
He was waiting, too.
