Page 20 of Cipriani's Innocent Captive
He took half a step closer to her, looked down and suppressed a groan at the delicious sight of her delicate breasts encased in stretchy fabric. ‘If I’ve misread the signals,’ he told her, ‘Then tell me now and I’ll back off. You have my word. Nor will I let it affect whatever lies down the line in terms of your position in my company. Say no, and this is never mentioned again. It will never have happened.’
Katy hesitated. She so badly wanted to tell him that, no, she most certainlywasnotinterested in himthatway,but then she thought of him backing away and leaving her alone and she realised with a jolt how much she enjoyed spending time in his company when they were tossing ideas around and sparring with one another. She also now realised that underneath that sparring had been the very thread of sexual attraction which he had picked up with his highly developed antennae.
‘That’s not the point,’ she dodged feebly.
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean...’ Katy mutteredsotto voce, red-faced and uncomfortable, ‘It doesn’t matter whether we’re attracted to one another or not. It would be mad for us to do anything about it. Not that I would,’ she continued at speed, face as red as a beetroot. ‘After Duncan, I swore to myself that I would never make the mistake of throwing myself into anything with someone unless I really felt that they were perfect for me.’
‘I’ve never heard such nonsense in my entire life,’ Lucas said bluntly, and, feathers ruffled, Katy tensed and bristled.
‘What’s wrong with wanting the best?’ she demanded, folding her arms, neither leaving the room nor returning to the bed, instead just standing in the middle as awkward as anything. He, on the other hand, looked totally at ease even though he was as scantily clad as she was. But then, he obviously wasn’t the sort who gave a jot if his body was on display.
‘Nothing’s wrong with wanting the best,’ Lucas concurred. ‘But tell me, how do you intend to find it? Are you going to present each and every candidate with a questionnaire which they will be obliged to fill out before proceeding? I’m going to take a leap of faith here and assume that you didn’t know about Powell’s marital status. You went out with the man and presumably you believed that he was the right one for you.’
‘I made a mistake,’ Katy said defensively.
‘And mistakes happen. Even if you’re not being deliberately misled by a guy, you could both go out in good faith, thinking that it will go somewhere, only to discover that you hit obstacles along the way that make it impossible for you both to consider a life together.’
‘And you’re an expert because...?’ Katy asked sarcastically.
‘People are fond of self-deception,’ Lucas delivered with all-knowing cool. ‘I should know because I witnessed it first-hand with my father. You want something badly enough and you try and make it work and, if it all makes sense on paper, then you try all the harder to make it work. In a worst case scenario, you might actually walk up the aisle and then into a maternity ward, still kidding yourself that you’ve got the real deal, only to be forced to concede defeat, then cutting the ties is a thousand times more complicated.’
‘You’re so cynical...abouteverything.’ She harked back to the lack of trust that had made him think that the only solution to saving his deal was to isolate her just in case.
‘There’s no such thing as the perfect man, Katy. With Powell, you got someone who deliberately set out to deceive you.’ He shrugged. ‘You might think I’m cynical but I’m also honest. I have never in my life set out to deceive anyone. I’ve never promised a bed of roses or a walk up the aisle.’ He looked at her thoughtfully. ‘You had a crap time with some guy who strung you along...’
‘Which is why you should have believed me when I told you that I’d rather have walked on a bed of hot coals than have anything to do with him in my life again.’
‘That’s beside the point. At the time, I looked at the facts and evaluated them accordingly. What I’m trying to tell you is this: the world is full of men who will do whatever it takes to get a woman into bed, and that includes making promises they have no intention of keeping. With me, what you see is what you get. We’re here, we’re attracted to one another and that’s all there is to it.’
‘Sex for the sake of sex.’ That was something she had never considered and surelywouldnever consider. It contravened pretty much everything she had been taught to believe in. Didn’t it? It was what Duncan had been after and that had repulsed her. Sex and love were entwined and to disentangle them was to reduce the value of both.
Lucas laughed at the disapproving, tight-lipped expression on her face. ‘It could be worse,’ he drawled. ‘It could be sex for the sake of a happy-ever-after that is never going to be delivered.’
The air sizzled between them. Katy was mesmerised by the dark glitter in his eyes and could feel herself being seduced by opinions that were so far removed from her own. Yet he made them sound so plausible. Instead of giving her the freedom to enjoy a healthy and varied sex life, to take her time finding the right man for her, her experience with Duncan had propelled her ever further into a mind-set that rigidly refused to countenance anything but the guy who ticked all the boxes.
Wasn’t Lucas right in many ways? How could you ever be sure of finding Mr Right unless you were prepared to bravely face down the probability that you might have to risk some Mr Wrongs first?
And who was to say that all Mr Wrongs were going to be creeps like Duncan? Some Mr Wrongs might actually befun.Not marriage material, butfun.
Like Lucas Cipriani. He had Mr Wrong stamped all over him and yet...wouldn’t he be fun?
For the first time in her life, Katy wondered when and how she had become so protective of her emotions and so incapable of enjoying herself in the way all other girls of her age would. Her parents had never laid down any hard and fast rules but she suspected now, looking back down the years, that she had picked things up in overheard conversations about some of the young women in distress they had helped. She had seen how unwanted pregnancies and careless emotional choices could destroy lives and she had consigned those lessons to the back of her mind, little knowing how much they would influence her later decisions.
Lucas could see the range of conflicting emotions shadowing her expression.
The man had really done a number on her, he thought, and along with that thought came another, which was that the first thing he would do, provided the deal went through, was to sling Powell out on his backside.
Whatever experiences she had had before the guy, he had clearly been the one she had set her sights on for a permanent relationship, and throwing herself into something only to find it was built on lies and deceit would have hit her hard.
For all her feisty, strong-willed, argumentative personality, she was a romantic at heart and that probably stemmed from her background. Sure she would have enjoyed herself as a girl, would have had the usual sexual experiences, but she would have kept her heart intact for the man she hoped to spend the rest of her life with, and it was unfortunate that that man happened to have been a married guy with a penchant for playing away.
‘You may think that I don’t have the sort of high moral code that you look for,’ Lucas told her seriously. ‘But I have my own code. It’s based on honesty. I’m not in search of involvement and I don’t pretend to be. You were hurt by Powell but you could never be hurt by me because emotions wouldn’t enter the equation.’
Katy looked at him dubiously. She was surprised that she was even bothering to listen but a Pandora’s box had been opened and all sorts of doubts and misgivings about that high moral code he had mentioned were flying around like angry, buzzing wasps.
‘I’m not the type you would ever go for.’ Lucas had never thought he’d see the day he actually uttered those words to a woman. ‘And quite honestly, I second that, because I would be no good for you. This isn’t a relationship where two people are exploring one another in the hope of taking things to the next level. This is about sex.’
