Page 28 of His Secretary's Nine-Month Notice
On her part...
All sorts of emotions were involved. On her part, emotions had been involved for some time when it came to her charismatic boss and three weeks spent in his company, three weeks of making love and pretending that reality was something that could be put on hold for ever, had deepened the swirl of feelings inside her that she had always had for him.
She was in a dangerous place and she was brave enough to acknowledge that that was part of the reason why she had actually considered keeping the pregnancy to herself.
She thought back now, not for the first time, to that very moment when it had dawned on her that her period hadn’t come. She’d been merrily continuing with her contraception but, when something should have happened, nothing had. Even so, she had bought that pregnancy-testing kit without thinking that it would actually deliver that positive line.
Of course, it was something that had had to be ruled out, but as she’d waited those few minutes for a result she hadn’t really been nervous at all.
And then everything had changed. In a heartbeat, her whole life had been turned on its head. Her blood had run hot, then cold, and in her fancy en-suite bathroom she had suddenly felt as though someone had taken a bat and swiped her behind her knees. She’d wanted to collapse. The unexpected had happened and nothing in her life had prepared her for it, even though she had lived a life full of the unexpected.
But she’d had time to take stock. He hadn’t. No wonder he could barely compute what she’d dropped in his lap.
She’d never witnessed him grappling with anything. He was always so dynamic, so in control, whatever happened to be dished up.
Before she could say anything, he was heading for his door and pulling it open, leaving her no option but to follow him.
‘Where are we going?’
‘My place.’
‘I don’t want to go there.’
‘Tough, Violet. I didn’t wake up this morning wanting to discover that I’m going to be a daddy.’
Tears threatened. Of course, he was only speaking his mind, but still it hurt.
She’d never been to his house. Never. The thought of seeing him in his personal space was disturbing even though she had quickly grown accustomed to him seeing her in her personal space in Melbourne.
He summoned his driver, who appeared outside to meet them in a black, low-slung BMW, and she allowed him the silence of his thoughts as the car manoeuvred through the crowded roads, heading out of the city towards the calmer suburbs of west London.
She’d expected a house. Something substantial. But he lived in an apartment. It was a massive apartment and very minimalist. Lots of white and a feeling of something begun but not quite completed. There was minimalist and then there were walls in search of paintings.
It was completely open plan, and as he headed for the kitchen, where he briefly seemed to contemplate the restorative qualities of alcohol before settling on coffee, she took time to look around her. He offered her coffee but she went for water.
As befitting an IT guru, there were lots of gadgets. She spotted a couple of computers, an elaborate games console and a mound of games. The television on the wall was ridiculously large. There were papers randomly strewn on a glass table and on the silk rug by the white leather sofa, as though he had lain down to read through some work, got bored and decided to shove everything on the ground next to him. The place was so essentiallyhimthat she felt her heart constrict.
‘Of course, it’s pointless telling me that you didn’t show up to ask for anything. You realise that, don’t you?’ This as he moved towards the leather sofa and sat down, pushing a couple of files to one side and then tugging what looked like a priceless, one-off glass-and-beaten-metal table towards him with his foot. ‘And please, Violet, sit down. We have to talk, so there’s no point standing there like a sergeant major about to break ranks.’
Violet shuffled over to a chair and uncomfortably sat down facing him. ‘You didn’t ask for this situation.’ She could feel a wave of nausea roll over her. Morning sickness, but hers lasted most of the day, and dealing with it was a daily challenge.
‘You’re right. I didn’t. But here we are.Fait accompli, so to speak, so what do you think we should do about it? I know. You tell me what you think should happen next in this scenario and we’ll see whether your prediction coincides with mine.’
‘This isn’t a game, Matt.’
‘Trust me. I’m being deadly serious. So? You came here, fuelled with a sense of obligation, and you must have had thoughts as to what would happen once you’d dropped the grenade.’
Violet bit down on an explosive response to that statement because every single word of it got on her nerves. But exploding wasn’t going to solve anything, so she inhaled deeply and kept her voice well modulated.
‘I suppose I thought you might be relieved to be released from having to engage...if that’s the right word. Naturally, if you wanted, say, to contribute financially, then that would be up to you, but it wouldn’t be necessary at all as I’m quite solvent. I don’t think a baby would exactly fit snugly into your lifestyle, but of course, you would be more than welcome to arrange...er...to visit whenever you wanted. I thought the discussion might go a bit like that.’
Why was he looking at her as though she’d just insulted him?
‘Interesting... You basically tell me that I can walk away, throw me a couple of options—just in case, on the off-chance I don’t go for the abandonment option—and I thank you and see you to the door so that I can have a few weeks to think things over...?’
‘No, of course not.’
‘Because that’s how it’s sounding to me. I’m a commitment-phobe who wouldn’t want anything to do with a baby I hadn’t planned on having. Ergo, I would abnegate all responsibility. God, Violet, I thought you might know me a little better than that.’
