Page 30 of Never Again
“Maybe I should stay?”
He heard the hopeful lilt in her voice but couldn’t allow her to do that, though he desperately wanted her to stay, too.
“You can’t do that,” he said gently.
He tugged on her shoulder, and she fell onto her back but refused to look at him. She stared up at the ceiling.
“I’m working on a few festivals, but I’ll come see you in a few months.”
Carmen looked at him then, and he could barely handle the depth of anguish in her brown eyes.
She sighed, as if giving up an internal fight. “What choice do we have right now?”
She sat up and the sheet fell away, exposing her semi-nude body. Like him, she wore only underwear. While he wore boxer briefs, she wore a pale pink cheeky with a lace waistband. He curled an arm around her waist, pulled her to him, and rested his forehead on her shoulder.
They sat in silence for a while before she suddenly gasped and he lifted his head.
“What if I tell my parents I’ve met someone here? I don’t have to say who.” Her eyes brightened with the excitement.
“I don’t want you to do that.”
“Why not? I could make up a name, and that way I could come see you without any worry. I’m twenty-five now. My father isn’t as concerned about my dating life, not like he was three years ago.”
“Do you really think your father will be unconcerned about you dating someone in another country and he hasn’t met him? Do you really think he would be fine with not knowing anything about your mystery man?” His words came out sharper than they should have, and her eyes widened in surprise. But part of him was miffed that once again he had to be a secret, and once again she was naive enough to be an idealist about the situation. “I don’t want you to lie.”
He rolled off the bed. Cold tile under his bare feet shocked his heated system. Turning away from her, he ran both sets of fingers through his hair in exasperation.
“I’m lying now,” Carmen said.
“Then don’t. Don’t lie anymore.”
“Are you saying you don’t want me to come back?” Carmen asked in a stricken voice.
Carlos faced her. “No, I just…I don’t know!” he said, throwing up his hands. “I don’t know what I fucking want, Carmen. I just know that this is ridiculous, and I know that you don’t seem to see anything wrong with simply turning me into a lie to protect yourself.”
“That is so unfair.”
“Is it? Because this feels very familiar. We dated for months in secret before I met your family, even though you met mine,” he reminded her.
“You know why. Because of my father. Look at how unreasonable he became after he found out about us. He didn’t approve, and up until meeting you, I’d always done what my parents wanted. I never lied to them. I was a good girl, for lack of a better word. Then I started lying, keeping secrets, and staying out late because I couldn’t stand to leave you. Surely, you can understand why I didn’t initially tell them—especially my father—the truth.”
He did, but he didn’t. Carlos turned away from her and stared out into the night at the side of the building next door.
“And what about Tyler?” he asked bitterly.
A beat of silence. Tyler had been a bone of contention between them, and much to his own surprise, Carlos was still bitter about it.
“Tyler meant nothing to me. You know that. That was my father interfering, and I went along with his matchmaking to keep the peace, that’sall. We went on one date, and we never kissed. We’ve been through this.”
Tyler, a young man from a wealthy family, had been her father’s choice. After Alfred found out about her dating Carlos, he arranged with Tyler’s parents for Carmen and Tyler to meet. To her credit, Carmen told Carlos right away, and though having her meet with another man made him ill, he’d accepted it as a necessary evil—until he learned about the follow-up after the meeting.
“He came to your house for dinner. SomethingIwas never allowed to do.”
Tyler was the right kind of man. Carlos was the wrong kind. Tyler had a future and could take care of her. Carlos had a dream and couldn’t take care of himself.
“I don’t know what you want me to say. I thought we were past Tyler. Obviously you’re still angry.”
“Because you didn’t tell me everything.”
