Page 31 of Never Again
“I didn’t want to hurt you!”
“It hurt anyway when I found out,” he grated, glaring at the wall next door.
She’d tripped up and mentioned that Tyler had joined them for dinner on a night she hadn’t been able to go out with him. Knowing that she’d foregone spending time with him to sit at the table with another man—the one accepted by her family—had been a crushing blow that took a while to recover from.
“I was willing to walk away from everything for you. Did you forget that part?” Carmen asked in a low, emotional voice.
Carlos turned his head to look at her. “I couldn’t let you do that.”
“Then that’s your fault, isn’t it?”
Yes, it was his fault. He hadn’t been strong enough to hold on to her. His weakness and insecurity had forced them apart.
“Go home to your family. I can’t provide for you the way they can.”
“I don’t care about the money. I love you. I only want you.” Tears shimmered in her eyes.
“You’re being impulsive and emotional.”
“You sound like my father. I’m not being impulsive or emotional,” she said angrily. “Carlos…” Her pleading eyes conveyed how much she wanted to be with him.
“Go home, Carmen. I’m leaving tomorrow, and you’re not coming with me.”
“You’re right. I should get up. I can’t be late.” She rose from the bed, and as she passed on her way to the bathroom, he grabbed her arm.
She looked up at him with doleful eyes, and his heart twisted painfully. She was his everything, and life without her had been hard and lonely. He never realized how lonely until she came back. He’d been closed off, determined not to feel again, and here she was—making him feel all sorts of intense, fierce emotions that took up too much space in his head and heart.
“I love you. That hasn’t changed in all this time,” he said.
“I love you, too.” She shrugged with sadness-filled eyes, all the fight drained out of her. “But maybe it’s not enough. The distance, my career at the company, our differences—maybe we’re fooling ourselves into believing we could make our relationship work this time. How can we, when there are more obstacles in the way?”
This wasn’t what he wanted.Shewas what he wanted. How many times had he told her that she was his sun, moon, and stars? His universe.
He pulled her to him.No. Not again. He would be strong this time. He’d fight for them to be together.
Sudden and sharp, desperation infused his blood at the thought of her going back to Canada and them never seeing each other again. Carlos cradled her face in his palms and kissed her. His fingers tangled in her hair as he pushed his tongue into her mouth.
Carmen moaned, and with only a few steps, he guided her back to the bed.
“We’ll make it work,” he said in a guttural voice against her neck. “I’m not letting you go again. Never ever again.” That was a promise he intended to keep. No way would he let the bitterness from the past ruin the sweet possibilities of the future.
He stripped them of their underwear and joined his body to hers with a swift, hard thrust. Her legs curled around his waist as he rocked back and forth, increasing the tempo until an orgasm pulled whimpering cries from her lips, and he buried his face in her neck, shuddering through his own climax.
13
How am I going to fix this?
Carlos ran a weary hand down his face as he lounged on the gray sofa. Carmen had been gone a couple of days and he was in a slump, missing her the same as if she were an arm or a leg—an integral part of his life whose absence felt painfully unnatural.
She left a message to let him know she landed safely, but they hadn’t spoken since, and that was two days ago. It was late, but he needed to talk to her tonight. He sat up and then picked up the phone and dialed her number.
Carmen was sensitive. If she believed you were rejecting her, she’d withdraw so she wouldn’t be a nuisance. Though they’d made love before she left, and despite what he’d said, he could imagine her reviewing their intense conversation about Tyler and wondering if Carlos really wanted to be with her.
“Hello?”
He knew she would answer, but still, seeing her face and hearing her voice sent a rush of relief through him. She was lying in bed, hair in a topknot and face make-up-free. He wished he could be there with her among all the linens and pillows, holding her close in his arms.
“Hey,” Carlos said.
