Page 119 of Seasoned
“I didn’t, but I stopped by the main store first, and they told me you had taken the day off. I hoped you were home and not out somewhere. I got back to San Diego last night and couldn’t wait to see you and talk to you. You look great, baby.”
As usual, he ate her up with his eyes, gaze spanning the length of her body from top to bottom—on the way down idling for a breath-stopping moment at her bosom, before continuing the descent to her feet and then climbing back up to her face.
Her skin singed wherever his gaze touched, and heat rose to her cheeks. She needed to calm down and keep a straight head, because she could easily lose herself with him.
“Don’t do that, please. Say what you came to say and leave.”
“I can’t pay you compliments anymore?”
“What do you want, Tyson?” she snapped.
His brow furrowed. “We’re not enemies, Jackie. Are we?”
She immediately regretted the sharp tone. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you, and I want to get this over with.”
“I guess I should be glad you answered the door then.”
“I don’t hate you, but as I pointed out in my last text, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to stay in touch.”
She sat down on the sectional and tensed when he sat down a couple feet away.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the conversation we had before I left, and I came here to tell you that I changed my mind. I believe there is a future for us—one where we could raise a child together. I love you, Jackie, and I don’t want anything to stand in the way of us being together. I screwed up letting you go before, and I can’t do that again.”
She rubbed her trembling hands together, queasy from the opposing forces of elation and anxiety that raged a war in her abdomen. “You’re saying everything I want to hear, but you and I won’t work. You know it and so do I.”
“I don’t know that,” Tyson said quickly.
She stood and faced away from him, assembling her thoughts. When she swung around, he was standing too, but had moved from in front of the sofa.
“Tyson, I know how you feel. Some days I don’t want to get out of bed because I miss you so much, but I have responsibilities. Employees, bills to pay. I make myself get up because I have to. I miss you, and I’m a little angry that you made me realize how much my life has been lacking. I’ve enjoyed the times we’ve spent together on dates, talking, the general companionship, the sex. But there’s something else I’ve been missing for years, and that’s motherhood. I’m not willing to give up being a mom for you.”
That’s basically what her decision had boiled down to at the basic level. She’d had to make a choice, and she chose motherhood—the same way he’d chosen to sow his wild oats and pursue his dreams of entrepreneurship ten years ago. Once again, their timing was off.
“I’m not saying you should—”
“I wouldn’t dream of asking you to be a father again because the last time we were together in this living room, you were very clear. So if you think you can convince me—”
“Woman, would you stop talking for five minutes!”
Tyson walked over and took both of her hands in his. Shocked by his outburst and hypnotized by his warm touch, Jackie fell quiet, focused on his eyes and the impassioned expression within them.
“I love you, and adopting a child is not a deal breaker for me. I was worried because I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and the idea of being a father again scared me.”
“Scared you?”
“Yes, scared me. I screwed up big time before, but Kendrick and I talked one night, and he made me realize that I didn’t have to be afraid. Kids need love and attention and time, and I can offer that.” He brought the back of her hand to his lips. “We can do this, you and me. Raise a little girl. I think about my grandkids and how much I enjoy spending time with them. Kids are precious. They give so much more than they receive, and I’m ready to be a dad, stepdad, whatever you need me to be. I’m still scared as hell, baby, but I’m a different man than I used to be, and I’m looking forward to it.”
“Are you sure? I’m going to adopt. I’m not changing my mind.”
“I don’t want you to, and yes, I’m sure.”
His words sank in. “So you’re still talking about a future together, and some day getting married?”
“Absolutely.”
“And you don’t mind being the oldest parent at the PTA meeting?” She grinned.
“Nobody better say shit.” Tyson came closer, his black eyes soft, his enticing mouth close enough to kiss.
