Page 58 of Seasoned
Martin shook his head. “I know it’s not easy coordinating something like that while you’re newly divorced.”
Hector shrugged. “We’ve been good, actually.”
“Oh yeah?”
Hector nodded. “I helped her out with the lawn the other day, and now we talk all the time.”
“No shit.”
“It’s no big deal.” He didn’t want to disclose how much the conversations with Adelaide meant to him. He felt lighter, as if wings had grown on his shoes and kept him elevated above the negativity his life had become. “You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you, how did you and Paula manage to get back on track?”
Martin had at one time mentioned he and Paula were headed for divorce, and he had thought about moving out of the house, but something changed. Martin stopped sulking when he arrived at work, and he no longer complained about his wife.
“Paula dragged me kicking and screaming to a therapist.”
“You never told me that.” He could imagine Martin doing exactly that, too—kicking and screaming.
“Turns out it was a waste of time.” He sipped his drink.
“How could it be a waste of time if the two of you ended up working things out? From what I can tell your marriage is stronger than ever. You’re still thinking about moving to Jamaica, right?”
“Yep, if you ever buy me out,” Martin said pointedly.
Hector chuckled. “I’m working on it.”
He had to make a decision soon or Martin would sell his interest to someone else, which could be problematic. He and Martin had made a great team for almost two decades, and he didn’t know if he’d have the same easy-going relationship with anyone else.
“Back to your question—my marriage to Paula is stronger than ever, but not because of the marriage therapist. A friend of hers recommended a book calledThe Five Love Languages. Ever heard of it?”
“No.”
The bartender set down Hector’s order of wings and Martin’s order of calamari.
“I’m telling you, it changed our lives and improved our relationship.” Martin dipped some calamari in the marinara sauce.
Hector laughed. “Come on, are you telling me that you read a book and that’s what saved your marriage?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” Martin finished chewing his food. “I thought it was bullshit, too, but the book explains that there are five ways people express and receive love. Every person has their preference. I see that skeptical look on your face, but listen to what I’m saying. I thought it was corny as hell, too, but Paula was adamant that we read the book. So we did. I figured, what the hell, it was cheaper than the therapist. There’s also some exercises that you can do that the author created to encourage you to better communicate with your spouse.”
“Sounds like some new-age crap that somebody made up to make a ton of money.” Hector ate a piece of chicken.
“I would agree with you, except that it absolutely works. At least it did for us.”
“Okay, so what did the book tell you to do that was so wonderful?”
“Okay, basically the author says we all speak in different love languages. For instance, my wife’s language is she likes to receive gifts. When I give her gifts, it makes her feel good.”
“Wow, what a revelation,” Hector said sarcastically. “What person doesn’t like to receive gifts?”
Martin laughed. “It’s actually more than that. The thing is, I thought that by providing for her and the kids, that was enough. But she really enjoys getting gifts from me. They don’t have to be anything extravagant. The occasional flowers, a piece of jewelry.” Martin leaned closer, really getting into the story. “One of the things the book taught me was to really pay attention to her and her needs. Instead of doing what I thought she wanted, I did what she actually wanted. I also paid attention to the things she liked, in a way that I did when we first started dating but had slacked off on as our marriage progressed.”
“So what, you just started buying her a bunch of stuff?”
“Yes and no. It was a little bit more calculated than that, and at first it felt awkward and cheesy. I struggled with what to get her because the truth was, I hadn’t really been paying attention to her needs for years. But we did the exercises included in the book, and as time passed it got easier to show her love in the way that she appreciated. So now I do shit regularly. Like the other day, I bought her flowers for no reason. I was driving by the flower shop and saw a sunflower bouquet in the window, and it caught my eye. Honestly, in the past I would’ve never noticed anything like that, but she loves sunflowers and because we’re on this new path, I pulled over and went in and bought the bouquet. When I got home, I gave it to her and said something like, “To the prettiest woman I’ve ever known. These flowers don’t compare to your beauty.” And you know what, I meant it. That’s the thing about learning to speak someone’s language. It’s better if it’s more authentic, and it was authentic because to me she’s still that girl I spotted across the supermarket parking lot and ran over to speak to because I couldn’t let her get away.”
Hector digested his friend’s words. “That’s nice. I’m happy for you. But I don’t see Adelaide doing any exercises with me.”
“You can do the exercises yourself. You said you guys still talk, right?”
