Page 16 of Without You
“Whenever you get mad, this house magically turns into yours. Yes, your name is on the deed, too, but you said it was mine.Ipicked it. I wanted something simple I could manage where the kids and I would be safe from curious fans. I wanted normalcy. But now it’syourhouse. Thank you for letting me know where I stand.”
“Enough! You know I don’t want you to leave, and yes, this is your house. What I want… I just want to talk to the man.”
“There is nothing for you to talk to him about.”
“I need to know!” he said louder.
“You know everything you need to know!Go.”
“Mommy?”
They both swung their heads in the direction of the soft voice. Chelsea stood near the end of the entryway in a nightshirt, and in the dim light Charisse saw the fear etched in her face.
Terrence dropped his arm and Charisse shuffled over to their daughter. She crouched in front of her. “Hey, it’s okay. Mommy and Daddy are having a conversation, and our voices got a little loud.”
“Everything is okay, princess,” Terrence said.
“Go back to bed, and I’ll be right there to tuck you in, okay?”
“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” Chelsea asked.
“Baby, you’re too old for that. Remember, we talked about it.” On occasion she slipped into Charisse’s room in the middle of the night and must’ve gone in there looking for her and then heard their voices in the hall.
“Please, Mommy.”
Charisse sighed, giving in because she wanted the conversation to end and Terrence out of the house. “All right. Only for tonight.”
A bright grin covered Chelsea’s face now that she’d gotten her way. “Good night, Daddy.”
“Good night, princess.”
When she was gone, Charisse straightened, and they stared at each other in the silence. She didn’t know what else to say to him.
He walked slowly toward her and she stepped back into the wall. He kept coming and placed his hands on either side of her.
“I know I messed us up,” he said softly. “I know it’s my fault we’re not together. It’s all on me. But I still love you, and I want to fix it. That’s what I came here to tell you in the middle of the night. I left the studio and couldn’t wait. You’re right, I have no right to be jealous, but the thought of you with this other man is driving me insane. I don’t deserve a second chance, but I’m asking for one. I miss you so much. So damn much, sometimes I swear I can’t fucking breathe. Tell me what to do. I’ll do whatever you want.”
Charisse sank her teeth into the inside of her bottom lip. Those words were five years too late. There was no longer anything he could do to save their relationship. It was already dissolved. The one thing she asked him to do was stay away from other women, and he didn’t do that. She no longer wanted to risk her heart on him.
Did she miss him? Yes. And despite everything that happened, a piece of her heart did and would always belong to Terrence Burrell. Not because he was the father of her children, but because he was the beautiful man—too pretty for rap—who smiled at her from the stage fourteen years ago and won her heart that very night.
That man had been swallowed up by the industry and no longer existed. The woman she had been no longer existed, either.
“Tell me. What do you want me to do?”
Charisse stared at the beating pulse at the base of his neck because she couldn’t look at him. “I want you to go,” she said quietly.
He didn’t budge, but she heard the sound of his lungs deflate. Then his hands fell away from the wall. He stepped back and stared at her, but she didn’t look at him. She dropped her eyes to the floor.
There was nothing left for them to say.
Terrence quietly left without a word.
Charisse wrapped her arms around herself and slid down the wall. A little whimper escaped the back of her throat, and then tears eased from beneath her tightly squeezed lids.
Her body shook as she quietly sobbed and pressed her face to her thighs.
Being strong was so darn hard.
