Page 8 of Without You
Did he place extra emphasis on murder?She almost rolled her eyes. He acted as if he earned the name from literally murdering people, instead of how he earned it—building a reputation of “murdering” MCs in cypher competitions and street corner rap battles. He was clearly posturing, though she didn’t think her date could be intimidated. He was so laid back.
Austin extended his hand. “I’m—”
“Austin,” she filled in for him. She didn’t want him to give Terrence his full name. She didn’t trust him.
A muscle in Terrence’s jaw twitched. He didn’t shake Austin’s hand. “Guess I’ll let you finish your meal. We still on for the tour tomorrow?”
Tomorrow they took their eldest on a tour of Morehouse College, one of the schools he considered attending after he graduated next spring. It was not something they needed to discuss right this minute.
“Yes, we’re still on for tomorrow,” she answered.
“Cool. See you then. Nice to meet you, Austin.”
“Likewise.”
They left the table and Charisse breathed easier.
“Everything okay?”
Austin’s gaze remained trained on the menu.
“Yes, everything is okay.” She reached across the table and he put his hand in hers.
She wanted to reassure him. Having an ex-husband who was bigger than life could sometimes be intimidating for other men. Not to mention so many of his songs consisted of boasts about his sexual prowess, tales of growing up poor and black in the hood, and bragging about his money, jewelry, and cars.
At least, those were the ones that received the most radio play. Only diehard fans knew about the songs where he bemoaned the ravages of poverty, encouraged young people to strive for their dreams, and cursed the political powers that be for their negligence and selfishness as they handled government affairs.
Austin squeezed her hand. “Good.”
“There’s something I want to tell you.”
“Okay.”
“I have an overnight bag in the car, and the reason my mother is watching the kids tonight, is because…I’d like to spend the night with you, if that’s okay.”
A broad grin spread across his lips. “Of course that’s okay. I’ve missed you since the last time, and when you left like you did, I wasn’t sure…”
“I know. With the kids…”
He shook his head. “No need to explain. I understand. But I’m glad you can make time for me tonight.” He rubbed a thumb back and forth over her hand.
“Good.”
“Good.”
They both laughed and she returned her attention to the menu choices, much more upbeat. She would not allow Terrence to kill the mood. Now that her date was back on track, she allowed her mind to dissect what happened and reflected on the past.
Terrence used to always have a perfectly logical explanation for any suspicious-looking photos that popped up online and an excuse for showing up late after engagements. His favorite was to say that he was working in the studio. Another was to say that he was in a meeting that ran over and they went for drinks afterward and lost track of time.
If she found any evidence of his betrayal, he instantly became contrite and apologetic. He would buy her a piece of jewelry or send her on a shopping spree and come home on time for a while. Then after a period, sometimes only a couple of months later, the behavior started all over again.
In the beginning, he used to take her out. They partied together, but that happened less the bigger his star shined. She knew it was so he could hook up with other women, though he insisted that was not the case. And he always brought up the fact that someone needed to keep an eye on the kids, as if they couldn’t hire a caretaker or her mother wasn’t available.
After a while, she stopped yelling and stopped questioning him. She grew tired of hearing,These hoes won’t leave me aloneorI don’t know where that number came from. She ignored the signs and pretended she didn’t see the numbers or smell the perfume in his clothes. Until the day came when she could no longer ignore, and one of his side chicks, a stripper named Brenda, approached her while she was at the grocery store with her two youngest. Brenda yelled and screamed, accosting her as ifshewere the wife and Charisse the side chick.
Then the photos were plastered online, and a video appeared on TMZ with this woman yelling and tossing boxes of cereal while Charisse’s bodyguard held her at baby. Charisse had abandoned her cart and run off with her kids.
It was one thing to deal with the infidelity privately, but the public humiliation had been too much. Terrence’s affairs chipped away at her self-esteem, but that public display damaged her pride. The video showed she was a woman on the run. On the run from the truth that she was no longer married.
