Page 87 of Love and the Laws of Motion
“You’re going home for Thanksgiving?”That was a better outcome than she could have hoped for.
“To myparents’place.That’s not really home for me anymore.”
“Nick, it’s your home.It’ll always be your home.That’s the point, right?”
“Yeah, I guess.”He didn’t sound happy about it, but he did sound determined to go through with it.His family was going to welcome him back in with open arms, she knew it.He might not see that now, but tomorrow, he would.He’d be glad he did this.
“You’re not mad at me?”
“For telling my mother you knew me?Liv, I might have been a self-absorbed dick when I was eighteen, but I’d like to think I’ve evolved a little by now.”He reached out and snagged her hand, his thumb running across her knuckles.“No, I’m not mad at you.”
Her breath left her in an unsteady huff.She’d been half-convinced tonight was it—that he’d come back just long enough to tell her it was all over.Instead, everything had changed.He was patching things up with his family.He was going home tomorrow.He wasstaying.
For the first time since she’d met him, she had hope.It was nothing more than a tiny little flicker, but it was there.Maybe he’d figure out how to quit running away.Maybe he’d stay.Maybe there was a chance they’d exist beyond the next five minutes.
She reached for his hand.“Come upstairs?”
He let her lead him inside.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Upstairs, in his room, things felt different.Usually when they had sex, Nick was excited and playful, pulling her clothes off her in an eager tumble toward the bed, alternating between kisses and filthy whispers that made her blush.
Tonight, he was quiet.In fact, he made no move to touch her right away, looking around the room as if he wasn’t really seeing it, as if he was lost somewhere else.
Livie went to him instead.
“Hey,” she murmured, taking his face in her hands.His hands found her hips, and he looked back at her.“It’ll be okay.”
He nodded, closing his eyes.She kissed him—a brief press of the lips at first, but then again, slower and longer.Eventually, he began to kiss her back, his hands curling into her hips.Still, he made no move to take things further.Summoning her courage, Livie took the initiative, something she’d never done before.
Slowly, she unbuttoned his shirt, leaving off kissing his mouth to drop kisses down his neck, and still farther down to his chest.Nick drew in a ragged breath, lifting a hand to cradle the back of her head.When he made no move to undress her, she straightened up, looked him in the eye, and began to unbutton her shirt.He watched as each button slipped free of the fabric.When it was hanging loose, she shrugged it off, letting it fall to the floor.
He didn’t reach for her tonight the way he usually did.He just looked, his eyes roaming over her bare shoulders, the swells of her breasts above the scooped edge of her tank top.
So she didn’t stop.She stripped off the tank, too, shaking her hair free as he watched with hungry eyes.After only a moment of hesitation, she reached around and unhooked her bra, tossing it away.His eyes locked on her breasts but still, he didn’t touch her.
This felt different.She was jumpy with nerves.Usually, by the time she was naked, they were already in bed, he was naked, too, and they were seconds away from coming together.It was easy to get lost in the rush of physical sensation.She’d forget about her own body entirely, completely focused on what was happening between them.Now, there was just him, standing there fully clothed, watching her, half-naked.Her nipples hardened into tight buds under his relentless gaze.
“Take off the rest?”he murmured.“Please?”
It never crossed her mind to refuse him.As Nick stood still and watched her, she kicked off her shoes, then slid her jeans down her legs.His heavy-lidded dark eyes never left her.There was nothing left but her underwear.Her eyes flicked up to his.He stared back in question.Before she could lose her nerve, she hooked her thumbs into the sides and slid them down her legs, too.
His eyes raked over her slowly, from head to toe.She stood still, still trembling, and let him look.Finally—it felt like a year—he reached out and laid a hand over her breast.Her eyes slid closed and she let out a trembling sigh.
“I’m being selfish,” he said.“Just taking.”
“Not if I want to give it.Maybe you need it.”He seemed rattled tonight, more uncertain of himself than she’d ever seen him.This time, maybe she could take the lead, and make it all about him.
“I don’t deserve you, Liv.”
She covered his hand where he was touching her.“You’ve got me anyway.Tonight, you can have all of me, any way you want me.”
Slowly, when she’d worked up her courage, she stepped forward, lifted her hands, and began undressing him, too.He let her, watching her intently as she unbuttoned his shirt and stripped it off, then unzipped his jeans and nudged them down.He moved only enough to toe off his shoes.She did the rest, sliding his jeans down his legs and urging him to step out of them.
While she was down there, on her knees, she glanced up and there he was, right in front of her face, hard and ready.She’d never done this before.The very idea had struck fear into her heart.There seemed to be a lot of ways to screw it up, and it was definitely not an organ you wanted to make a mistake on.But now, when he seemed so lost, when all she wanted was to make him feel good again, it felt right to take him in her hand, to lean forward, then to take him into her mouth.
Nick let out a moan that made her shudder, then he muttered a stream of expletives.“Jesus, Liv.Jesus.Goddamn.”
