Page 46 of Horn in My Side
“I have to.Sooner if I hear back from that job.”
“You don’t have to explain anything, Mal, really.”The fact that she sounded so resigned when her hair was disheveled, and her lips were still swollen from their kisses made him feel like an absolute heel.“And don’t think I let you kiss me because you’re my boss.I’m still planning to buy this place from you, legally and fairly.”
“No—no!Of course I don’t think that’s why you kissed me.”Gaku help him, why was this so hard?“It’s not you, Jasmine.You’re beautiful and kind and warm.Anyone would be lucky to be with you.It’s not right, knowing I can’t offer you more than a few months of fun.”
A dark eyebrow cocked up.“And what if I want to have some fun?”
She wasreallynot making this easy.“I’m not that type of guy, Jasmine.And I can’t stay here.”
The atmosphere grew thick around them as that truth hung between them.After a heartbeat, she broke the silence.
“You didn’t want to come here in the first place.This isn’t your home.”
“It’s not that exactly.”He searched for a way to explain it to her.“Remember what you said to me a couple weeks ago?About how Dewberry Falls, and the shop feel like home to you?”
She nodded.“Yeah.”
“For orcs, home isn’t a place.We believe we have two homes: our homeland where our people sprang from and our heart-home—ashak’roca—which we carry with us wherever weare.It’s a state of mind where we are at peace and are content, and for me, that’s my work.I love my job, not just because I’m paid well, or I get to travel the world.It’s because it fulfills me, and as a builder orc, it brings me closer to my roots.My father was a builder, you see.He died when I was ten years old.”
“I’m so sorry, Mal.”
He flashed her a grateful smile.“I’m the last of our line, which is why I inherited all of Vrig’s assets.When I’m working, it’s like my dad’s here, even now that he’s gone.”He paused, trying to construct the words in his head so that she would understand.“This job I’m waiting on, it’s not just any normal constructing job.It’s the renovation of our historic center back in Ghalad-Dur, the orc homelands.It doesn’t pay much, but it’s not about the money.”
“It’s about your legacy,” she said in a soft voice.“Your traditions.And working on it would make you feel closer to your father.”
Mal shouldn’t have doubted that Jasmine would understand perfectly.“If he were alive, he would have done everything he could to get that job.Maybe we would have worked on it together too.”
“Oh, Mal ...”Her small, soft hand covered his.“I’ve no doubt that would have made him happy.”
“He’d be so proud if I got the job.”
“I think he’d be proud regardless.”Her grip tightened on his hand before she let go.
“This job would take up all my time.I’d have to move back to the homelands until I was done, maybe two or three years, though from experience it’ll be closer to five.I would also need to leave the moment I hear from them.That’s why I can’t guarantee you anything more than a couple of months of fun.”And she deserved so much more than that.
“You didn’t have to explain all that, but thank you.Truth betold, I’mnotthat type of girl, either.If we got involved and you had to leave ...it would be too hard, emotionally.”
Her admission sent his hearts soaring, but at the same time, wrapped him in fear.
“Besides, you’re right.We should keep our relationship professional.Anything more would muddy things between us,” she added.
Her words did not give him relief, nor did they ease the ache of wanting her.Perhaps he’d always want her, but regardless, this was the right decision for both of them.“Agreed.”
“We should forget this happened.”
“Yes, we should.”Though that was highly unlikely for him.The taste and the feel of her body would haunt him for the next few months.Possibly for years to come.Even now, his raging erection refused to abate, and the following nights would be spent dreaming of her as he stroked himself to what he knew would only be a temporary state of relief.
“I’ll head h-home, i-if that’s okay.”She scooted to the counter and grabbed her purse.“Would you mind closing up?The upstairs is done, but—”
“I’ll take care of everything down here.”
“Are you sure—”
“Yes.You have a system.”He nodded at the clipboard by the first row of pens.“I won’t mess it up.”
“Th-thanks.”
Jasmine scuttled out the door like she had the devil after her.And who could blame her?This whole thing was awkward, and it was entirely his fault for giving in to temptation and kissing her.
