Page 16 of Woven Hearts
Eli shakes his head, and for the first time all night, his shoulders drop. Not in defeat, but like he’s finally allowed himself to set down some of the weight he’s been carrying. “No. Thank you, though. I’ll see you in the morning?”
Beck smiles, and my heart nearly falls to the floor. God, I love when he smiles like that. “Absolutely.”
Eli turns to me with a shy smile. “Goodnight, Roman. Night, Beck. Thank you both for letting me stay at your house.”
“Goodnight to you too,” I say, figuring I’ll leave out that it’s his house too. He’ll learn, eventually. We’ve just gotta be patient and let him see it.
Beck and I watch as he turns and walks out of the room. When we hear the bathroom door shut, Beck looks at me. His eyes are glassy and his lower lip is quivering, and goddamn, I love my tender-hearted man so much. I hold my arms open, and he collapses into my lap. He presses his face against my neck as his first tear falls. “You’re fucking incredible, you know that?” I ask, sinking my fingers into his hair.
His fingers curl around the fabric of my shirt as he lets out a wet laugh. “I want him to know he’s not alone.”
I put my finger under his chin and force him out of his hiding spot. When his eyes lock on mine, my heart nearly explodes. Brushing away his tears, I press my lips to his forehead. “Jesus, baby. I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more than I love you right now. And that’s insane to think about, considering how much I love you.”
He gives me a wobbly smile. “I love you too, beautiful. It’s unreal how much.”
I let him tuck his face back against my neck and run my fingers through his hair as his even breaths fan across my skin. We sit in silence together, listening to the muted sounds of the shower, until the water cuts off and Eli’s tentative footsteps can be heard crossing the hall.
Even then, we don’t move. Beck stays curled in my lap, his lips grazing my pulse point every once in a while, my fingers still tangled in his hair. My eyes start to grow heavy, and there’s not a chance in hell that I’m sleeping on the couch again. “Hey, baby,” I whisper, kissing the side of Beck’s head. “Let’s go get ready for bed.”
He nods, reluctantly pulling himself from my hold.
When we’re done getting ready for bed, and Beck has sent Holden a text letting him know we have Eli and will call tomorrow, we crawl in beside each other and I pull Beck back into my arms. He nuzzles my skin and sighs.
I jolt awake, memories of my dad flying through my mind, my heart racing. I’m alone. I’m alone. I’m alone.
Where’s Beck?
I sit up in a panic, patting the bed and looking around the dark room. He’s not here. Why isn’t he here?
I swallow the rising anxiety and climb from the bed on shaky legs, my heart pounding wildly in my ears. I make it to the door and pull it open, rushing into the hallway. My legs feel like jello, like this is a dream, and I’m running and can’t get away.
Where’s Beck?
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Stumbling, I rush toward the living room and trip over something. My legs give out and I crash to the ground, not even managing to catch myself. My eyes burn and Beck’s groggy voice fills my ears. “Beautiful? You okay?”
“No,” I choke out. “Nightmare.”
My teeth are chattering and my knee hurts where I fell and this fucking sucks. I’m so tired of this. So fucking tired of this.
“You left,” I gasp, tears building in my eyes. Then I’m being lifted, pulled into Beck’s arms, rocked slightly.
“Fuck, beautiful. I’m so sorry.”
I can’t speak, so I don’t. I just bury my face in his chest and breathe in his scent, letting it and the feel of his body wrapped around mine soothe me. I have no idea how long it takes me to calm down, but when I do, Beck is rubbing his thumb along my cheek and humming softly. “Why did you leave?” I ask, my voice raspy.
“You aren’t the only one with nightmares tonight.”
Fuck.
Why didn’t I even consider that Eli would have nightmares too? God knows I have. My entire life. For as long as I can remember, anyway.
“I should have come back to bed after Eli calmed down. I’m sorry.”
His thumb traces patterns on my face, his touch light and gentle. I shake my head. “No, it’s okay. I’m a whole-ass adult. I should be able to deal with this on my own by now. Fuck, I’ve been in therapy for a damn decade.”
Beck tips my face up and forces me to look at him. “Would you tell Eli that?”
