Page 37 of Pills and Potions: Kase
Ms. Glitter didn’t say a word, just climbed into my lap like her shift started on me.Normally, I’d already have her laughin’, legs in my lap, hand on her thigh, game plan in motion.But tonight? I was actin’ awkward as hell, like all my game packed up and left me on read.
I looked up and said, “Wow… your balance is impressive.”
Kase. Shut the fuck up.
She smiled, startin’ to wind her hips all slow and hypnotic.
“Do your knees hurt?” I asked. ‘That’s a lot of tension on the patella. You got tendon strength like a damn Olympic diver.”
Her eyes got big like I asked if she was tax-exempt. She kept dancin’, probably hopin’ I’d shut up, but I didn’t.
“Your core strength is elite. Pilates? Pole fitness? You got posture like a ballet assassin.”
She cut me off, clearly tired of the Yelp review. “Baby, you tryna throw money or diagnose me?”
I reached for my clip, lowkey embarrassed. “Nah, I got you, I just respect biomechanics.”
“What?” Vernon spat his drink out.
Paul turned around from tossing dollars. “My nigga… what the hell are you talkin’ about?”
Jace leaned in. “Is this a side effect from the booster shot or somethin’?”
Even I was confused. Nigga,what are you sayin’?
I leaned in more, like I had wisdom to offer. “You got rhythm and symmetry. That’s rare. Like... functional art.”
She slid off my lap like I coughed COVID.“Yeah, I’m not doin’ this with you.”
“No, wait, what’s your zodiac sign?” I blurted. “You givin’ Sagittarius. Grounded. Sensual. You glitterin’ from thesoul.”
She turned like she was bout to call securityandthe ancestors.“My name is Diamond. And you… weird.”
She walked off, leavin’ a glitter trail and emotional debris.
Jace slapped the table. “Did this man say symmetry?!”
I shrugged. “She had symmetry.”
Paul was wheezin’. “This nigga actin’ like Bill Nye the Booty Guy!”
Before I could collect myself, another dancer stepped up, glowin’ like she just got baptized in glitter. She smelled good as hell and started bouncin’ on my lap like she clocked in. I let herdo her thing, but then I opened my damn mouth and said some more wild shit. A nigga wasclearlylosin’ his mind.
“You ever worry about microplastics?” I asked.
“Huh?” she got confused.
“I’m just sayin’... that’s a lot of sparkle. That eco-glitter or we killin’ dolphins tonight?”
Shawty smiled and dipped, leavin’ my dumb ass lookin’ crazy while Jace, Vernon, and Paul laughed like I just bombed at Def Comedy Jam.Next thing I know, instead of gettin’ turnt, I hadthreestrippers sittin’ next to me like we were on a damn sponsored panel discussion. One of ’em was lowkey emotional, dabbing her eyes with a dollar bill like it was a silk handkerchief.
“I just gotta ask…” I leaned in, dead serious. “Do your mama know you clap your butt cheeks for money?”
Nigga.You want the pussy, not theirpath to healing.
Paul had his phone out, dying. “YOOOO!!! This man got three strippers in a healing circle!”
Jace couldn’t breathe. “He got ‘em talkin’ chakras and childhood wounds like it’sRed Table Twerk!”
