Page 60 of Christmas Every Day
‘Was he terrible?’ Ashley asked. ‘I can’t imagine anything worse than last time.’
‘Nah.’ Sarah shrugged. ‘He wasn’t terrible. He seemed all right. Was nice-looking, and we had an interesting conversation, found some things in common.’
‘Sounds like a right dud!’ Lucille snarked.
‘No. This time the dud was me.’
The sausage from Jamie’s hotdog shot across the patio and landed in a plant pot, leaving him gripping an empty bread roll. ‘He thought you were a dud?’
‘No. He asked to meet up again.’
I asked, ‘So, what then?’
‘I just… felt nothing.’ She tore a strip off her napkin. ‘He was a nice bloke. I had a fun evening. But the thought of going through all that palaver again, shaving and plucking and straightening my hair. Dressing up. Asking all these questions, waiting to spot the clues that he’s a wimp, or a scumbag, or a member of UKIP. I can’t be bothered. I suddenly realised I could take it or leave it. So, I left it.’
‘Fair enough,’ Ellen said. ‘But love’s not always lightning bolts.’
‘I know.’ Sarah pulled a wry face. ‘Which made me decide I’m not up for dating right now. When the right man doesn’t feel right, perhaps the right thing is to forget men altogether.’
‘Maybe you just didn’t fancy him?’ Ashley blurted. ‘Maybe because your heart already belongs to someone else. It seems a little early to give up on romance altogether.’
I kept my eyes firmly on Sarah and off Jamie. I couldn’t bear to look.
‘Nah. Life isn’t a Hillary West novel, Ash. I dunno what I was thinking, really. I’m happy with just me and Ed. I’m relieved it’s over.’
‘Quite right,’ Lucille, miraculously, agreed. ‘You don’t need a man to complete your life, Sarah. Most men are more hassle than they’re worth – I saidmostmen,before you bite my head off.They distract you from who you are until, before you know it, you’re living your life, making decisions, choosing an outfit to please them, not you.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with making decisions to please someone else. That’s called compromise,’ Ellen interrupted. ‘It’s how marriages succeed.’
‘There is when it’s at the cost of your own self! Look at Kiko! Except you can’t, because she’s missing our barbeque, sacrificing her needs to please a man. Again.’
‘Then again, thinking about it, I’ve changed my mind.’ Sarah waved her glass at Lucille. ‘Maybe I will try a few more dates. Find a nice man to take care of me, pay off my credit card and squish spiders. Put up shelves and change the oil in the car. Tell me who to vote for.’
‘Anyone fancy a top-up?’ I said, before things got out of hand. There was a lot more food to chuck around and drinks to hurl than usual. And I was wearing my new slippery shoes. Which reminded me…
I managed to corner Jamie in the kitchen when we were clearing up.
‘I have a strange request.’
‘Okaaay?’
‘Do you have a photo I could borrow?’ I explained what it needed to be like.
‘I’m finding it hard to work out why you need a high-res image of me.’
‘I’m finding it hard to work out a good explanation.’ I sighed. ‘My twin sister is marrying my ex and they want photos of me and my plus one for the reception.’
Jamie glanced behind him. ‘Jenny, is this a roundabout way of asking me to be your date? Because, well—’
‘No! No. Not at all. I gave a fake name, thinking I could tell them he’s sick, but then they asked for a picture. I need it by June.’
‘You’re going to your twin sister’s wedding. To your ex. Alone. With a picture of a poor, sick, fake boyfriend. Is there a worse way to spend a day?’
‘Sitting at home cursing yourself for still not plucking up the courage to ask out the woman you’re in love with?’
Jamie gave me a sharp look. I shrugged. ‘You’re right. The wedding is worse.’
He scrolled through some pictures on his phone. ‘I have a few from my army days. But nowadays I keep a low profile. I deliberately don’t have any images on the website.’
