Page 79 of Christmas Every Day
So when Ashley phoned, asking if I wanted to go Hillary West hunting with her, I was in my black jeans and hoodie before she’d pulled into the driveway.
29
It was fully dark by the time we pulled up alongside the wall of a vast property three miles from Middlebeck.
‘What now, boss?’ I asked, as we sat in the car with the lights out, about thirty yards from the gate.
Ashley fiddled with her jacket zip. ‘I’m not sure. I thought we could look through some windows, or knock on the door and pretend to be lost, but I don’t think that’s going to work here.’
‘You could go for the bold approach, try buzzing the intercom and ask for Ms West.’
‘I couldn’t do that!’ Ashley gasped. ‘What if she invites me in? I can’t have her meeting me like this. I’m not even wearing lipstick.’
‘I don’t think she’s going to notice the lack of lipstick.’ I squinted at her. ‘But she’ll probably call the police if you keep that ski mask on.’
‘We should have worn civilian clothes, pretended to be dog-walkers or something.’
‘With no dogs? At ten at night?’
‘We could have borrowed Florence.’
‘I bet you could climb one of those trees and see into the grounds.’
‘Ooh! I did bring binoculars, like Jamie said.’
‘Why isn’t Jamie here?’ I whispered, as we tiptoed towards a particularly sturdy-looking willow tree, not too far from the wall.
‘I didn’t ask him,’ Ashely replied, the whites of her eyes round in the moonlight. ‘He’s far too scary. And this ismychallenge. Can you imagine me stumbling along behind while he slips through the shadows like an assassin? I’d only go and get him caught, and he’s got a reputation to maintain.’
‘So, you’re going to get me caught instead?’ I smiled.
‘Well, I thought, being a civilian like me, you’d be more likely to… well, you might not…’
‘It’s fine.’ I giggled. ‘I don’t have any reputation worth maintaining. And I’m glad you asked me. Come on. Have a go at reaching for that branch.’
I gave Ashley a clumsy boost, and she heaved herself up to where she could peer over the top of the wall. Afraid to take pictures using a flash, she instead hissed down a description for me to jot into a folder.
‘Three windows with lights on, two of them covered in blinds… the third appears to be a dining room…’
She dictated two pages of notes about the house and what she could see of the garden, before sucking in a huge breath.
‘Another light has gone on. Behind a door. The door is opening. Something’s coming out!’
‘A woman?’
‘A dog. Two HUGE dogs. They’re running, sniffing. Oh. Heading this way. And they don’t look happy.’
She didn’t have to tell me any more. Ferocious snarls rapidly approached the other side of the wall, punctuated by a duet of deafening barks.
The whole area suddenly lit up with at least a dozen perimeter floodlights, one of them directly above Ashley’s head.
‘Crapcakes!’ She froze, swivelling her eyes down to where I stood, caught between laughing, squealing and peeing my pants. ‘What do I do?’
‘I don’t know. What would Jamie do?’ I wheezed. Whatever we did, there was a very high chance we were both ending up dog food.
A woman’s voice erupted into the night, bellowing threats. Most of which involved an avocado peeler, whatever that was. Ashley let out a squeak, dropped her binoculars and toppled right out of the tree, landing in a crumpled heap on a pile of rotting leaves. I hurried over, trying to keep hold of the folder while heaving her up. She grappled for purchase on the wet leaves, slipping and sliding, flinging one arm around my chest as I leant down.
‘Ow!’ she yelled, tipping over again as she snatched her foot off the ground and bringing me with her. ‘My dodgy ankle.’
