Page 36 of The Chad Next Door
I snicker at the thought.
“What are you laughing about?” he asks.
“Nothing.”
“Mm hmm.”
“Why don’t you ever text your siblings back?”
He sighs and pulls away, though his smile tells me he’s not all that mad about me breaking our kiss. “If I have something to say, I’d rather say it to that person directly.”
I don’t know if I’ve ever met anyone who is so good at answering questions without hesitation. While I have a feeling there’s a lot he keeps to himself, it always feels like he does everything he can to be open and honest with me, and there is so much that I love about that.
So I keep asking questions. “Is it hard, being so much older than your siblings? Bailey was only a couple of years older than me, so we were pretty close, and Link and Zelda are so close in age that they basically feel like twins.”
He considers that, pursing his lips as he resumes stroking my arm like he was doing earlier. “Sometimes. Sometimes I feel more like a parent than a brother, and other times it’s like we’re all the same age. It was harder when we were younger, after I turned eighteen. They were just kids, and they went to live with Micah’s dad because they needed someone who could actually take care of them when my dad got arrested.”
I can hear the strain in his voice. Lacing the fingers of my right hand with his right hand, since his arm is around my shoulders, I try to show him that he’s not alone. “Why wasn’t that someone you? You were already taking care of them.”
“Did you have to fight to keep custody of Link and Zelda, or did they hand them right over to you?”
I never really thought of it as fighting, but I had to prove that I was capable before CPS released them. “I guess a little bit.”
“Imagine you were barely eighteen, a high school dropout, no health insurance and barely enough money to pay rent and utilities.”
“Oh.”
“Yep. It didn’t matter if I knew them better than anyone. On paper, I was a bad fit. I’m glad Lloyd was willing to take them, or who knows where they would have ended up. But the judge was right, and they needed a real parent.”
“You’re a great parent, Chad.” I’ve been watching him with my kids for the last two days, and he’s a total natural.
He takes a while to respond. “I’m not a parent.”
“Do you want to be?” What in the world was that, Hope? You can’t ask something like that!
But then Chad says, “I almost was once,” and stiffens. Apparently we’re both saying things we shouldn’t tonight. He lets out a heavy sigh, pulling his hand free as if giving me an opportunity to leave if I want to. “Sorry. That’s not something I wanted to spring on you like that.”
But it’s something he wanted to tell me eventually? “What happened? When?”
He sighs again. “About five years ago. My girlfriend got pregnant, and we were thrilled. Then she miscarried, and she was too devastated to try again. At least, that’s what she told me. Maybe she really was upset, but I think she was more relieved than anything. She said we could try again after we got married, but she kept putting off wedding talk until about six months ago when I finally figured out she’d been…” He coughs, clearly uncomfortable.
“She was cheating on you?” I hate her even more than I did yesterday when Hank suggested Chad might have an ex. “Can I punch her?”
A soft laugh comes out of him, and he kisses my cheek. “You could totally take her. You’ve takenmeout several times already, so…”
“Chad?” I grab his hand again.
“Hmm?”
“Thanks for telling me. About everything. Thanks for trusting me.”
“You’re easy to trust. In my line of work, people like that are few and far between.”
I can’t believe I still don’t know this yet, and I ask with more than a little curiosity burning in the question. “What do you do for work?”
“I’m a private investigator.”
I sit up straight, accidentally elbowing him in the ribs on the way up. “Oops. Sorry! Really? That’s so cool!”
