Page 30 of Thunderstruck
Whether he expected me to say something so raw, Moxie barely reacts outside of sitting next to me again, his eyes on his feet. Apparently we’re friends, but I doubt he was prepared to be bombarded with honesty. I wasn’t prepared to give it. I haven’t even told Derek any of this stuff, so the fact that Moxie got it out of me soeasily is telling.
What it tells remains to be seen.
“Okay,” he says after a long spell of silence that leaves the locker room feeling spacious and cold. Two things it has never been. “I’m not going to pretend I’m an expert on matters of the heart, because I’m not.”
But he’s a decent guy, and I’ll take any advice he might give me.
“You dated Sage for a while, yeah?”
I nod. “Almost four years.”
“And you were thinking of marriage and all that, right?”
Another nod. I still have the ring. It’s sitting in the back of my underwear drawer even though that’s probably the least safe place I could put something so valuable. If anyone were to break into my house, that would be the first place they look. “I was waiting for a good time to propose.”
“Waiting for how long?”
I turn to look at him, wondering why he wants to know something like that. “I don’t know. I got the ring like a year before we broke up.” Before she dumped me.
Moxie nods as if he’d expected an answer like that. “So you knew you wanted to be with her forever, but you spent a year trying to work up the courage to tell her as much. Why do you think that is?”
“Because I’m cursed.” Oh. No. That’s not what I wanted to say. That’s not the kind of thing you say to someone and expect them to take you seriously, which is a problem because I am dead serious.
Clearing his throat, he matches my gaze with an unreadable expression and a whole lot of thoughts behind his eyes. “Cursed,” he repeats.
I push to my feet and head for the door before this conversation gets any further away from me. “Forget I said anything.”
But when I reach the hallway, I collide with a petite blonde who squeaks in alarm as my momentum sends her flying backward. I catch Carissa’s arm—thankfully—and we stand motionless for afew seconds until I realize she’s hanging at a forty-five-degree angle. Tugging her upright, I make sure she’s steady before I take a step back.
“Sorry,” I say, though it’s more of a grunt.
Her eyebrows dip low. “What’s cursed?”
I swear under my breath and fold my arms, but at least it seems like she only heard the tail end of our conversation. “Nothing. Uh.” I should apologize about this morning. I know I should. But seeing her freckled nose and warm brown eyes is only reminding me that I have done nothing but distrust her since the moment she got here, and she’d be better off without me anywhere near her.
“Apparently Cole is cursed,” Moxie says, coming up behind me. “Sorry, Carissa. I thought this conversation would be…” He glances at me. “…shorter. You ready?”
I’m assuming Moxie is Carissa’s ride home today, which is way better than any of the other guys but still not something I like. Of anyone on the team, Malcolm Auxier is the one who would, without question, treat a woman right. Carissa might actually fall for him.
Though Carissa nods, her eyes are on me. “Why are you cursed?”
“I’m wondering that myself,” Moxie adds.
There is no way on this good earth that I will explain with Carissa standing there and looking at me with so much wariness. It’s one thing to confide in Moxie, a man I trust almost as much as I trust Derek. But expecting me to open up to a woman who has every reason—and resource—to make my life a living hell? That’s a hard no.
I shake my head. “I’m not talking about this.”
Moxie lets out a heavy sigh that speaks of nothing but disappointment, which settles over me, almost suffocating. He’s my only friend on this team, and if he’s ready to give up on me, it must mean I’m truly hopeless. “Need a ride, Evanson?”
I don’t want to say yes, but after the way the driver this morning was eagerly listening in on my conversation, I’m getting the sense that morepeople are going to be paying attention to me than I’d like for the next few weeks at least. “It’s out of your way.”
He rolls his eyes. “So is Carissa. She lives just down the street from you.”
Carissa meets my gaze, but only for a moment before she’s back to looking at her scuffed sneakers. If I had to guess, she’s worried I’m going to share her sister’s secret and is waiting for me to drop that bomb in front of the most important person on the team. I don’t know if it’s her fear or my guilt that ultimately keeps my mouth shut on that subject.
“I’d love a ride,” I tell Moxie. “I won’t make a habit of it.”
Taking hold of Carissa’s bag and slinging it over his shoulder, Moxie leads the way to his car.
