Page 99 of Thunderstruck
“I hate to say it, Lemon,” Dad says, “but I don’t think this is something you can fix on your own.”
“I won’t—”
“You can keep Carissa out of it if you think you need to. But she’s not the only person on your team. Gramps and I will try to think of a solution for you, but I think you should tell Derek.”
I groan, but I should have expected that. “I know you think Derek Riley is some all-knowing, all-powerful being, but he’s not.”
“No,” Dad agrees, “but he has a knack for solving problems, and you know it. If you tell him about the corruption—on both teams—he won’t stop looking for a solution until it’s all fixed. Besides, he’s your best friend. Don’t you think he deserves to know what’s been weighing you down all this time?”
I sink against the wall, letting those words soak in. I know it has bothered Derek to be kept in the dark about my reasons for leaving football, but I’ve never let myself really think about what it’s like for him. How would I feel if he suddenly stopped acting and refused to tell me why? If he told me that it was for my protection, I would tell him that I can take care of myself. Anything he’s up against is something I would gladly go up against too.
Derek would do the same for me, and I’ve been a jerk by not letting him support me as a friend. I’ve been a jerk to all my friends.
“Ah, I think you’ve gotten through to him, August,” Gramps says in a mock whisper.
“Shut up, old man,” I grumble. “I’m sorry I’ve wanted to protect my friends.”
“It’s one thing to protect them,” Gramps replies. “It’s another to trust them enough to let them to protectyou. In case it isn’t clear, I’m not just talking about Derek. Again, if you’re always taking care of the people around you, that leaves no room for things like kissing.”
I hum as the memory of Carissa’s mouth on mine leaves my lips tingling. Her kiss was electric. Explosive.Exquisite. “There’s still time for that,” I murmur.
“There’s my boy,” Dad says with a chuckle. “Now, stop talking to a couple of geezers and get Riley’s big brain working. The sooner you get help solving your problem, the sooner you can stop letting guilt hold you back from love.”
I frown as I consider that. I thought it was the curse keeping me from opening my heart to Carissa. The fear that she’ll get hurt or worse. But I trust my dad, and he knows me better than anyone. Could my problem be so simple?.
“Cole?” Dad says.
“Hmm?”
“I know you feel responsible for anything you touch—you’re not. People make choices, and that’s on them. And I know you’re scared to lose someone you love. No one will fault you for that. But take it from me. No matter how little time I got with your mom, having her in my life was worth all the heartache that came from losing her. I pray Carissa has a long life ahead of her, but if fate decides that she doesn’t, nothing you do or don’t do will change that. Wouldn’t you rather soak up the time you can get? Enjoy the moments you can share with her?”
Of course I would rather have her in my life. There’s no question of that. “But what if—”
“Stop living scared,” Gramps snaps. “Don’t make me come up there and knock some sense into you!”
I chuckle. “You think you can take me in a fight?”
“With ease. One of these days you have to stop underestimating people, Coleman.”
Maybe he’s right, and as I start heading out of the stadium to finally make my way back to the hotel, I think back to the night Carissa challenged me to an arm wrestle. She comes across as delicate and fragile, butshe’s anything but. Maybe I’ve been underestimating her determination when it comes to tempting fate. She doesn’t live life scared. Even when she came to the Thunder and knew it was a bad idea to go against her rules, she almost always went with her heart rather than her head.
If she hadn’t, I never would have gotten the chance to know her. To kiss her.To love her.
“I should go,” I tell my family. “Thanks for listening tonight. I’m going to talk to Derek, but if you come up with any brilliant plans for saving my team, let me know.”
“We’ll figure this out,” Dad replies. “We’ve got your back, Cole. And just so you know, if you aren’t willing to admit that you’re head over heels for Carissa when you get back home, we’re going to have another talk. None of this ‘IthinkI love her’ nonsense.”
I’m not going to grace that comment with a response. “See you when I get back.”
I order myself a rideshare—the closest car is several minutes away—and then I dial Derek’s number, silently telling myself that filling him in on the corruption is a good thing. That it won’t threaten the life I’m building in Los Angeles or the friends who mean so much to me.
Derek answers at the last second, which is unusual for him. He either answers immediately or his phone goes straight to voicemail; there is no in between. “What’s up?”
I frown and glance at the phone. “Why do you sound suspicious?”
“I don’t sound suspicious.” And he doesn’t.Now. But I swear his greeting came with a healthy measure of anticipation, like he was waiting for something. Now it sounds like he has slipped on his actor mask, which means I’ll have no idea what he’s thinking about anything.
Much as I hate that, I press forward after glancing around to make sure no one is around me. This isn’t exactly something I want anyone to overhear. “I’m going to tell you why I left football, but I need you to promise to keep it to yourself.”
