Page 53 of Dumbstruck
Rolling my eyes, I settle next to him and curl my legs up on the couch beside me. Now that the adrenaline is wearing off from when Jonah hit his head and collapsed, I’m back to being completely exhausted. I didn’t mean to fall asleep while I waited for him to come, and if it weren’t for my worry over Jonah hitting his head, I would be so ready to fall asleep again.
“I didn’t say ‘It’s a trap.’” I drop my voice to mimic his on that last bit. “I just said ‘trap.’”
He smirks. “Fine. My question still stands.”
“Technically, you didn’t ask a question.”
“Have you always been this lawyery, or is that the concussion talking?”
I groan. “Itoldyou that you have a—”
“June. I’m kidding.” Grinning, he laces his fingers with mine and shifts so we’re sitting closer together. I could easily lay my head on his shoulder, but I don’t let myself. That feels like a step further in our relationship than we’re ready for. “Please tell me what you were all enthusiastic about. And stop sitting so weird. My shoulder is right here.”
Sighing, I relax against him, both hating and loving how comfortable he is. I could fall asleep if I close my eyes, but there’s so much to talk about. “I think we need to set a trap for the saboteurs. Catch them in the act.”
“How do we do that?” Jonah suddenly sounds as tired as I feel. Maybe even more so. After the scare at my house last night and our adventures as old people in town today, it has been a long twenty or so hours. “No one has been able to get more than a glimpse of them.”
“I think it’ll be easier once we know who’s behind it all.”
Jonah speaks through a yawn. “But we don’t know who it is.”
“I have my theories,” I say through my own yawn. Why are yawns always contagious?
“Which are?”
I close my eyes. “Amateurs.”
“That’s not a person, June. That’s a descriptor.”
“Semantics.” I adjust my position so I’m more fully pressed against Jonah’s side, and he responds by tucking his arm around my back and pulling me in close. A contented sigh escapes me. This is the safest place I’ve ever been. “Can I stay here forever?” I mumble.
I have no idea if Jonah means it when he sleepily replies, “I would like nothing more.”
A girl could get used to waking up in Jonah James’s arms. It’s not something Ishouldget used to, but since I’m already here, I’m going to soak up every minute of this. At some point in the night, we both stretched out along the couch, Jonah behind me with his arms around me in a protective hold. Before we both fell asleep again, he whispered to me in the darkness.
“You are something special, June Harper.”
At least I think that’s what he said, though I could have been dreaming. I dreamed about Jonah all night, envisioning a life where we grew old together and didn’t have wrinkles that fall off because we got them with time, not makeup.
It was one of the best dreams I’ve ever had and made me realize how much I have come to trust this man. No matter his flaws, he is a good man. Maybe one of the best.
Now, as I lay pressed against his warm chest with my head on his arm, I wonder if I’ll ever be content with my fuzzy blankets at home when Jonah makes a much better blanket. He’s still sound asleep against my back, his breaths deep and slow, and he smells fresh and clean and manly. I have officially found my new favorite place.
For so long, I’ve been content—if not happy—on my own, but now I’m questioning if my solitary lifestyle here in Laketown is what I really want. Having a man to support me—physically, emotionally, intellectually—would make so many parts of my life better. And if things between Hank and Bonnie keep escalating the way they have been, I am likely to lose my one and only friend.
Based on some of the pictures I’ve seen online of their weekend away, they’re both pretty smitten with each other; I don’t think their relationship is fake anymore. I’m happy for Hank, I really am, but losing him leaves me in a place of uncertainty.
It feels dangerous to want a future with someone like Jonah. Someone whose life is so different from mine, who doesn’t have as much stability in his career as he would like. I don’t want to live in a place like Los Angeles, but wouldn’t he make the city worth at least considering? With his big family, he probably doesn’t need a support system the way I’m starting to want one, but what if he did?
What if we could be good for each other?
That’s a big question. Aterrifyingquestion. I’ve hid behind my fear for years, but I can’t do that with Jonah. I either have to let him in or let him go.
Shifting my position so I’m more comfortable, I try not to let my thoughts and questions settle too deeply. I don’t need to panic about this. At the store yesterday, he said he wants to see where this goes. He’s not asking for forever. Just fornow.
I can handle now.
Jonah’s breathing changes, and he moves behind me, arms loosening around me.
