Page 33 of The Fear of Falling
My stomach twists as my mind flashes back to the way I acted with Avery last week. It would be great if Eric never finds out about any of that.
Avery glances between Eric and me, hardly confident in her expression and posture, but this time she speaks up. “What if—”
“Oh, I should take this,” Eric says, holding up his phone as he stands. “Avie, why don’t you go into some more detail on that first plan.”
The instant he’s out of the room, Avery and I talk at the same time.
“Why are you here?”
“Is he always like that?”
Avery huffs and folds her arms. I wonder if she realizes her shirt is on backwards or if that was a deliberate choice. “Do you make a habit of gaslighting people? Or are you an evil twin?”
Chuckling, I fold my arms to match her. The real Avery is back now that Eric is gone, thoughgaslightingis a bit strong of a word. “Why would my twin be evil?”
“He wouldn’t because you’re the evil one.”
“Do all sets of twins have an evil half and a good half? I don’t have a twin, by the way.”
She groans, tugging on the two wet braids hanging over her shoulders. “Why did you pretend not to know me, Benson?”
I wish that question was easy to answer. “Because we agreed to anonymity,” I reply, even if it’s not the right thing to say.
She grits her teeth, letting her eyes rove over me as if she’s still wondering if I have a doppelganger out there somewhere. “What’s the point of anonymity when I already know you?” she asks eventually.
I shake my head. “You know what I showed you in Italy.” Which, to be fair, was pretty much the whole me. I don’t often hide behind masks, particularly when it comes to dating.
Snorting an unamused laugh, Avery stands and plants her hands on the desk so she can look down at me as she speaks. “You graduated from the University of Utah twelve years ago and lived in an old house in the Avenues and once gift-wrapped everything Eric owned because you thought he was being too uptight during finals week.”
Ah.“You know all that?”
“Eric has talked about you a lot.”
“So you knew who I was the whole time.” Was I a complete idiot, thinking I had found the perfect moment to let go of my past and just be me?
“Well, no.” She softens, grabbing one of her braids again. “I’ve only seen a few pictures of you, and they were from your college years. You don’t exactly look the same.” Then her eyes go wide, and she points at me. “But you! You had my phone for two days straight, and you didn’t put the pieces together?”
“I thought I was respecting your privacy by not reading any of the texts from ‘Colonel Buzzkill.’” I put the nickname in air quotes. “Does Eric know that’s what he’s listed as in your phone?”
“What about all the emails from Rose & Quill?” she asks, skipping over my question.
I sigh. This conversation isn’t going to end anytime soon unless I try to steer things away from Italy. “I figured you wereon their email list or something because of Dani. And if I’m being honest, I was kind of distracted.”How is that supposed to help?
Scoffing, Avery waves her arm over me. “Too busy flirting with the first random girl you bumped into?”
The question feels like a slap in the face. Is that what she thought that was? Did she miss the parts where I told her how interesting she was, how beautiful, how fascinating to watch when she found something that caught her attention? “Flirting with a woman who interested me, yes,” I admit, “but we both knew it was a fling and wouldn’t go beyond last week. That’s over now.”
Now it’s Avery’s turn to look slapped, and she sinks back into her chair. “So that’s it?” she asks, her voice thin. “We have this magical week in Florence, and now we pretend it never happened?”
I swear under my breath, rubbing my jaw as the memory of her lips on mine hits me hard.Magicalis a pretty apt descriptor, though it’s not one I would have chosen on my own. “That’s it.”
“What if I don’t agree?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not still attracted to me.”
She needs to stop. She needs to stop being bold and passionate and fiery because every time she pushes back and shows me she’s stronger than she looks, it makes the attraction that much worse. And I can’t be attracted to her. Not now that I know who she is. Attraction will only lead to disaster. “I’m not doing this, Avery.” My words come out somewhere between a sigh and a growl because a large part of me is mapping out the difference between the woman in front of me right now and the one who demurely explained her ex’s terrible marketing plans. She’sdifferent when he’s around, and not in a good way. I want to fix that.
