Page 90 of The Fear of Falling
She’s still for a long time, simply watching me, but after a moment she unfolds herself and sits up straight, her gaze not leaving mine. “You hurt me.”
Those three words are a knife in my chest. “I know. And I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
“What about Australia? Your business?”
Hope springs to life in my belly, but I rein it in. I can’t jump to conclusions and assume I know what’s going to happen here. All of this is up to her. “I’m turning down the client. I’m stretched thin as it is, and I’ve already committed my time to Rose & Quill. To…to you.”
Avery looks down at her hands as they gather up fistfuls of fabric from the t-shirt she’s wearing.Myt-shirt. The pajamas my mom brought her are sitting in a neat pile on the chair in the corner, which means Avery chose to raid my sparse closet even after everything.
The spark of hope burns brighter, leaving me lightheaded, like it’s burning up all the oxygen in the room.
“Avery,” I say, my voice cracking, “you stole my heart in Florence, and I don’t want it back. It’s always going to belong to you. If you tell me I’m too late and need to walk away, I’ll do it, but I’ll never stop hoping there’s a place for me in your life. I don’t want to keep running. I don’t want to keep fighting. I…I want tocome home.” And I don’t mean my parents’ house that hasn’t felt like home in years, so I swallow the emotion rising in my throat and add, “Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”
Because sheishome.
A sound escapes from Avery, halfway between a laugh and a sob as she finally looks up at me, tears shining in her eyes. “You’re going to leave in two weeks.”
“I’ll come back.” I take a step closer, then another when she doesn’t react. “I’ll always come back.”
She shakes her head. “And when you get tired of all the traveling back and forth? When you get tired of…of me?”
I drop to my knees in front of her, blinking my own tears out of my eyes as I take her hands. “That’s never going to happen.” Can I actually promise that? I’m already tired of traveling. But when it comes to her… I will spend my whole life trying to get back to her, no matter how far life takes me. “Avery, you are the most interesting person I’ve ever met. I could spend a lifetime getting to know you and never get bored. I knew it the moment I met you.”
Her breath hitches, but she seems to have run out of words.
I lift one of her hands to my lips and close my eyes, leaving her knuckles pressed to my mouth.
As she slips her other hand free of my hold, my stomach dips in fear, but then she touches the bracelet sitting on my wrist. “I wondered where it went.”
I open my eyes, meeting her tearful gaze as a knot forms in my chest. “I didn’t mean to take it. But I think it worked even better than Poppy thought it would.”
Her eyebrows pull low. “Worked?”
“I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I’m…” Swallowing, I tell myself that I can’t hold back.Lay it all on the line. “I’m in love with you, Avery Grace.” I’ve never said that out loud before, but no words have ever felt more right. “I’m choosing you. Now and forever.”
Sniffling, she squeezes my fingers, though she still looks terrified by the uncertain future. But the words that come out of her mouth are not the ones I expect. “What about Eric?”
The blood rushes from my head, and I gape at her. Eric? The man who has steamrolled her and stifled her and stuck his nose into places it doesn’t belong? After everything, is she telling me she’s still not over her ex when he has the personality of a slug dipped in—
“Oh my gosh,” Avery says with a roll of her eyes, and she presses her palms to my cheeks. “Are you seriously jealous ofEric Greer?”
I scowl. “I’m not jealous.”
“You are!” She laughs, and then her mouth is on mine.
I’m so caught off guard by this sudden shift that it takes me half a second to realize she’s kissing me. But when my brain catches up, my body takes over, bringing me up to my feet and pressing my hand into the mattress behind her as I lean into her. I wrap my other arm around her back and pull her close, and herarms go around my neck as she opens her mouth to me and the kiss turns molten.
I love you. The words are on repeat in my head as I lose myself in her.I love you.
“Bens,” she gasps a moment later, tilting her head back with a laugh as I trail kisses down her neck. “I need to… Will you stop for a second?”
Groaning, I stand up straight, reeling from that kiss and the way she cut it far too short. I have to peel my hands from her waist before I convince myself to ignore anything she might want to say and kiss her again. “Need to what?”
“Explain,” she finishes breathlessly, then stands with me and brushes her thumb along my cheek. “You’re the one who was using Eric as an excuse. Not me. I just wondered…”
Forcing a breath, I run a hand through my hair. “Right.” That reason for keeping my distance hasn’t magically gone away overnight. “I don’t want to break my promise, but…” But I thought I lost Avery last night. I’m not willing to go through that again if I can help it.
Avery sighs and places her other hand on my cheek, once again holding my face beneath her soft palms. “He and I broke up. You’re not stealing anything from him.” She tilts her head and smiles, a bit of mischief in her eyes. “Especially because I’m choosing you right back.”
