Page 37 of Never Too Late
‘We’re all ordinary people at heart, but you’ve got a real gift when it comes to playing the piano. Dad told me so and I could hear it for myself this evening. No, if he asks you to tag along, it’ll be because you’re worth it and you’d do really well. So… what would you say if he asked you?’
Steph had already spent many long hours debating this exact same question. The prospect was enticing and exciting and also fraught with problems, but there was only one logical answer. ‘I’d have to say yes, but I’d go into it with my eyes open. I’ve seen enough burnt out, drink- and drug-wrecked musicians to know what a life on the road can do to people. Look at your own father and the others. Think of Vince. Sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll; traditionally they go together.’
‘You’re worried you could end up burnt out physically, mentally and maybe even morally?’
‘It’s a real risk.’
He caught her eye and held it in the candlelight. ‘You’re afraid you’d lose your moral compass?’ Seeing her give a hesitant nod, he shook his head firmly. ‘That’s never going to happen to you. You aren’t some clueless kid, fresh out of school with stars in your eyes. You’re a grown woman and you’d be able to handle it, I’m sure of that. Besides, Dad and the others are no longer part of that scene. Look at them, Steph: they’re old men. Well, all right, notold, old, but certainly a lot wiser than they used to be. I’m sure it would go well for all of you.’ He took a mouthful of wine. ‘And when it comes to loss of moral compass, you’re talking to an expert.’
‘In what way?’ Although she already knew the answer.
‘You know my reputation, right?’ He didn’t wait for her to confirm or deny it. ‘I’ve spent the last few years living a hedonistic lifestyle.’ He hesitated. ‘I found myself living an artificial, superficial life. That’s okay for a while, but then the day comes when you realise there has to be more.’
She smiled at him. ‘Your sister was saying the exact same thing only the other day.’
He looked up and she saw him smiling back at her in the candlelight. ‘She spent most of the summer having a go at me, but it’s only lately that the penny’s dropped and I know she’s right. There has to be more.’
She nodded slowly; her eyes trained on the candle flame that was barely stirring in the evening air. ‘That’s the other problem I would face if your dad and the others really did offer me a place playing with the band. It’s the whole question of settling down. How could I even think of making a life for myself with a home and a husband and kids if I’m off all over the world all the time?’
‘That’s what you’d like: to get married and have kids?’
She paused. This was something she had never voiced out loud to anyone before, not even to her mum and certainly not to Ethan. ‘Like I said before, I’m ordinary. Ordinary people like me want to settle down and have a family.’ She looked up from the candle flame. ‘Like I told you, I’d be crazy to turn down an offer to join Royalty, but deep down I suppose I’m scared it might be disastrous for me, long term.’
‘At the risk of repeating myself, I know you could handle it. If they ask you, say yes. You’ve got to embrace life. We’re only on this planet for a short time and – carpe diem – we need to seize the day. Who knows what awaits us?’
She shivered. In spite of her mother’s advice, a frightening premonition of herself in a hospital bed, linked up to monitors and drips as she slowly faded away, sent an apprehensive shudder throughout her whole body. He must have realised the way her mind was working as his hand reached over and caught hold of hers, giving it an encouraging squeeze.
‘Sorry, I’m sounding far too solemn. I don’t know why I’m talking about this sort of stuff. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you and it’s going to be a wonderful life. I promise.’
‘You do?’ Her voice was almost choked with emotion.
‘I do.’ He looked deep into her eyes and gave her hand an encouraging squeeze. ‘It’ll be great.’
A movement from underneath the table was followed by a heavy paw landing on her thigh. She looked down to see the Labrador sitting at her side, staring up at her, the candlelight sparkling in his eyes, as he offered a bit of canine support. She caught hold of the big black paw with her free hand and gave it a little squeeze.
‘You know something, Waldorf? You’re a very good dog.’ She looked back across the table at his master. ‘He’s amazing. He must have sensed my mood.’
‘He really does. Sometimes, when I’m feeling a bit blue, he’ll suddenly turn up at my side and give me a nudge with his nose or put a paw on my lap. I know some people say dogs are just dumb animals, but having another living creature who appears to understand and share your pain means an awful lot. Getting him was the best thing I could possibly have done.’ He took a big swig from his water glass. ‘We all need a bit of support from time to time.’
‘Well, thank you for yours.’
He must have realised that he was still holding her hand and released it, but she immediately caught hold of his again. ‘If you ever need me to return the favour, just shout.’
‘One of these days I might just take you up on that.’
She gave his hand one more squeeze before releasing it and they sat in silence for several minutes before he caught her eye again. ‘Time to go?’
She nodded so he called Beppe over, thanked him warmly and paid. Before going back to the car, they took a few steps into the olive grove and stood staring down at the lights on the coast far below. It was almost completely silent up here, apart from a chorus of chirping cicadas in the background, and she gradually became aware of tiny little yellow flashes flitting among the trees as fireflies went about their business. It was a wonderfully romantic location and under different circumstances she wouldn’t have hesitated to catch hold of him and hug him to her. Her awareness that this relationship could never go anywhere was enough to hold her back so she deliberately, if reluctantly, turned away from him to pet the dog.
As they drove back along the track to the main road, she thanked Rob for the meal, and he waved away her thanks. They chatted in desultory fashion about trivia on the way down the hill, but the return journey was accomplished in almost complete silence, and she spent most of it reflecting on what he had told her. Was his sister right? Did this mean he was a changed man and, if he was, what might that mean for her? Although, apart from a brief touch of the hand, there was still no evidence that he thought of her as anything more than a friend and an accompanist.
When they got back to the coast, he didn’t head for his house but drove through the gates to the villa and dropped her off at the top of the steps leading down to the guest apartment. He didn’t turn off the engine, so she took the hint and reached for the door handle.
‘Thanks, again, for a super meal. I really enjoyed this evening, Rob. Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome. And thanks for your accompaniment on the piano. That helped a lot.’
‘If you need me to do it again, just say the word. You know where to find me.’
