Page 40 of Soul Deep
“I can’t.” Lily said, almost whimpering in her misery. “It hurt so badly.”
“Of course it did. If you didn’t already love him, you wouldn’t care.”
Lily closed her eyes. No. She didn’t love him… had she been falling in love? Maybe – but she wasn’t there yet. She refused to believe that there was no coming back from this. She’d protect her heart, and eventually, she’d get over Christian Black… And then what?
Feeling Mrs. Potter’s hand patting her knee, she looked into the kind blue eyes of the older woman just in time to hear Mrs. Potter say, “Sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith.”
The words startled Lily, so reminiscent of what she had said to herself not so long ago – but that was before she’d experienced the pain… Lily grimaced, “I don’t think I’d survive the fall.”
Mrs. Potter’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “You’re feline, my dear, and cats always land on their feet.” Another pat on the knee. “There’s nothing quite like being in love.” The older woman sighed, her eyes growing distant, unfocused. “If I could have one more day…” Her lips tightened as her gaze sharpened on Lily. “Life’s too short to play it safe, my girl.”
Christian needed a drink. No, that wasn’t true, he reminded himself. Hewanteda drink – big difference. That itch under his skin that had been absent for weeks, was suddenly a burn. Having a bottle of Jack Daniel’s waved in his face hadn’t tempted him in the slightest, but losing Lily? It was so tempting to dull the ache around his heart with an alcohol induced fog.
Gripping the steering wheel hard, he kept his eyes trained on the road in front of him rather than The Stag – Malsum Pass’ only bar – looming just up ahead. He wouldn’t stop. He just needed to keep driving. Once he was home, he could busy himself with a project to keep his mind off of the woman he had managed to let slip through his fingers. Maybe he’d start digging up the front yard for a paved walkway – he’d have to wait to buy the paving stones until tomorrow, but with the work lights, he could get a head start… hell, maybe he’d create a nice patio in the back – after all, it was highly doubtful this ache in his chest would let up enough to allow him to sleep.
How had things gone so wrong so fast? Christian growled low in his throat as an image of Mary Beth laughing at him floated through his mind. No. Blaming her for this mess wasn’t going to change the end result. Lily didn’t love him, and that wasn’t Mary Beth’s fault. That was his. He hadn’t done enough, hadn’t been worthy enough. He may never be worthy enough for a female like Lillian Oremun. But that didn’t mean he should stop trying.
Right now, Lily was under a lot of pressure. She sure as hell didn’t need to deal with him and his ham fisted attempts at romance. Once she cleared her name – and he was sure that she would once she implemented their plan – things would settle back down and he could try again.
And this time, he’d do it right.
