Page 1 of Vince
Vince
Normally,I don’t watch the clock. Especially in this class since it’s my favorite. But today I’m restless. Each minute feels like an hour as I watch the hands slowly move. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that time is standing still.
Will it ever end?
My mind drifts to thoughts I can’t afford to think about, and a dull ache in the center of my head forms.
Immediately, I tamp those thoughts down.
This isn’t the time or the place.
Today of all days, I deserve to be happy.
I’ve made a promise to Van, and I fully intend to honor it.
Switching gears, I focus on counting my blessings. I have so many things to be thankful for. Today’s not the day to wallow or self-destruct, no matter how much I miss them.
Having no idea how long I’ve zoned out, somehow through my fog-like state I hear my favorite professor finally announce the words I’ve been waiting for, “I’ll see you Monday.”
With my trance lifted, I quickly gather my things, stuffing them into my backpack. Ignoring the classmates I usually talk with at the end of class, I take the stairs two at a time, eager to get some fresh air and shake away my thoughts.
With each step I take, my chest loosens, and my thoughts easily become about the here and now, rather than the past. They aren’t bad memories per se, but the past has a way of pulling me into a rabbit hole I’m not prepared to enter today.
By the time I reach the center of campus, I feel more in control of my thoughts. Hearing my name shouted from behind me makes me stop and turn around.
I can’t help but smile at Ryan’s goofy grin as he towers above the crowded courtyard. I’m just over six feet, and the man has a half of a head over me in height. “Wait up, man. What’s the rush?”
Ryan and I met as freshman. He may not know it, but he’s helped me through more than he’ll ever know. My body instantly falls into a relaxed stance, and the tension from before nearly disappears. “Not much,” I say, running my palm along my neck to relieve what’s left of the tension built there. “I thought I wouldn’t see you until later tonight?”
“Class got out early, and I’m on my way home. Is Vanessa coming out with us?”
“Nah…” I say, shaking my head. “Couldn’t find a sitter. She’ll go out tomorrow night.”
Wait… is that disappointment I see in his eyes? Before I can think twice about it, Ryan’s expression returns to carefree. “So… it’ll just be us guys tonight?”
Weird. I must’ve imagined it.
“Looks like it. I’ll text you later when I’m ready. I’m doing dinner with the fam, then we’ll meet up.”
“Sure thing, man. I’ll pick you up since I’m DD. There’s no way I’m walkin’ home tonight.”
Before I can respond, my phone buzzes in my pocket. Knowing it could only be a handful of people at this time, I immediately pull it out to find a text notification.
Van: We’re slammed at work and short staffed. Can you pick up J? I won’t make it there in time.
I notice the time. Shit. I have twenty minutes and of course, I chose to walk to campus today.
I don’t even hesitate as my fingers fly across the keys to respond.
Me: Of course. I’ll see you when you get home.
Van: I’ll make it up to you by bringing home dinner.
Me: You won’t hear me complaining.
Van: Haha—like you’d ever complain about not cooking. See you at home. Thanks again.
Looking up to Ryan, I explain, “Sorry, man, gotta pick up Jules. I’ll let you know when I’m ready. Thanks again for driving my ass around. I promise not to get too out of control,” I tack on just to put a smile on his face.
