Page 107 of Vince
Vince
When I get homefrom studying on campus Friday evening, Vanessa meets me at the door, her hands on her hips and an accusing expression. “Vinny, what the hell is going on?”
Not sure what she’s so upset about, I ask, “What do you mean?”
“Uh… Sydney stopped by on Tuesday saying you hadn’t been in class, and if I had to bet, I’d say you’ve been avoiding her all week.”
“Why do you say that?” I deflect. There’s no way she knows what I’ve been up to.
“Oh, I don’t know. You’ve been in a miserable mood all week. You’re here in the room, but your mind is elsewhere. I’ve been watching you mope around all week when you think I’m not looking.”
Hell, she’s not wrong. “I… Uh…” I stammer as I don’t know what to say.
When her hand reaches my shoulder, her frustration disperses. “Vinnie. Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
Sighing heavily, I ask, “Where’s Jules?”
“Well, if you’d paid any attention this morning at breakfast, you’d know she was staying the night at her friend’s again.”
Really? How had I missed that?
“What about her stitches?” I ask in concern. Should she be staying over at a friend’s when she was just hurt this week?
“Vince. She’s fine. If you’d actually been paying attention this week, you’d see the only one who seems to be out of sorts is you.”
I open my mouth to say something but close it immediately when I’m at a loss for what to say.
Reaching for my hand, Vanessa pulls me to the couch.
Shrugging off my backpack, I lay it beside us on the floor as I join her.
“Talk to me, Vin. We don’t keep secrets, and it’s killing me to see you this upset.”
I should’ve known I can’t keep this from her. She knows me better than anyone on the planet and keeping secrets is like expecting the sun not to return each day.
Exhaling heavily, I finally admit, “I think I fucked up, Van.”
“With Sydney?” she asks for clarification.
“No… I mean… yes… but I fucked up with you and Jules first. I’m so sorry.”
Vanessa’s hazel eyes fill with confusion. “What do you mean?”
God, where do I even begin?
“I wasn’t here for you. If I hadn’t been so selfish, Julia might never have been hurt.”
“Seriously?” Her head rears back with uncertainty. “What the hell have you been doing to consider yourself selfish?”
“I’ve been so preoccupied with Sydney, that I haven’t been here like I should for you and Jules. You needed me, and I wasn’t there.”
“Uh… if I remember correctly, you were at the hospital within a half hour of us arriving. You spent the entire day with us, and you’ve been here every night since.”
“But I wasn’t home when she got hurt. I always get up with her while you’re getting ready, and I was with Syd.”
Van’s hand flies to her mouth as she inhales sharply. “Ohmigod, Vinnie. Do you somehow blame yourself for Julia’s accident?”
Uh, of course I do, but the look on Van’s face tells me I shouldn’t say it aloud, so I just nod.
