Page 113 of Vince
Vince
I’m skippingrocks into the river when I hear the most beautiful voice call my name. It must be a figment of my imagination because why would Sydney be here at this hour? Knowing she usually sleeps in, I’ve apparently reached a delusional state. Let’s face it—I miss her desperately.
I get why she didn’t want to talk yesterday. She had every right to send me packing. I’ve been a complete dumbass and deserved to be kicked to the curb. Who the hell would waste their breath on someone who couldn’t bother to reach out for nearly a week?
I never expected last night to be easy, but being completely dismissed stung. I at least thought she’d let me stick around and grovel or something.
“Vince?”
My spine tingles as I turn, hoping like hell my mind isn’t playing tricks on me.
Just the mere sight of her makes my breathing easier. Her long, red hair blows in the wind as her pace quickens.
As much as I want to close the distance between us, I’m frozen in place. A mixture of shock and uncertainty war with each other, rendering me speechless. I can’t afford to fuck this up. I’ve been so miserable this week without her, and I hope her being here means she’ll listen and forgive me.
“I’m so glad I found you. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
Really?
Instead of voicing my shock, I admit, “I’ve been here since dawn.” After tossing for most of the night, I gave up and left so I could avoid Van. I wasn’t ready to admit I’d struck out, and misery doesn’t always love company when said company can be a know-it-all sister.
“What’s going on, Vin?” Sydney asks, wrapping her arms around her torso.
As I look at her beautiful green eyes, I’ve missed her more than I could grasp before this moment. I clearly see she’s had just about as much sleep as me. Dark circles I’ve never seen before rest on her cheekbones.
Clearly, this past week hasn’t been easy on either of us.
Forcing myself to concentrate on her question, I shrug. “Couldn’t sleep so I went for a drive.”
“I mean… what’s really going on? Why the disappearing act?”
How do I even start? Looking to the sky as if it holds all the answers, I suck in a deep breath as I search for the words.
“When I got home Sunday morning, there had been an accident.” I still cringe at the memory.
“Ohmigod, Vince, was it serious?”
“It’s fine now, but at the time, I had no idea what had happened. There was blood all over the kitchen. What made matters worse was my phone had died, so Van couldn’t get a hold of me. I was a complete wreck.”
Sydney reaches for my hand and suggests, “Let’s find a place to sit.”
The moment her hand entwines in mine, the hope I’d been squashing resurfaces. The tightness in my chest loosens as we take a few steps up the riverbank and sit on a large boulder.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Vince? I could’ve been there for you and your family.”
“I know that, now. But at the time, I had this overwhelming sense of guilt for not being there when they needed me most. Here I was—off having the time of my life—and Jules got hurt.”
Syd retracts her hand immediately. “You blamed me?”
Oh, fuck.
“No…” I cut off that thought in an instant. “Not at all. I blamed myself for being selfish. For allowing myself to have a life. You see… for the past… well, since my parents’ accident, I’ve done everything in my power to put Van and Jules first. Being with you… well… that’s the first time I’ve done something for myself.”
“So… you do blame me…” She stares at the water below as my heart thunders in my chest.
“No…” Reaching out, I cup her chin so she can be clear of my intentions. “I didn’t blame you in the slightest. And I still don’t. This isallon me, Syd. You know the night my parents died, I’d been partying with my friends…” Pulling in a deep breath, I admit my embarrassing truth. “Well, somehow through it all, I had this fucked up notion that the only way we’d survive is if I didn’t allow myself to truly find happiness.”
Syd raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. Sensing her obvious confusion, I force myself to continue, “You see… I thought I was happy before I’d met you. Now, I know without a doubt, I was merely content at best. The thing is, Syd, as you and I’ve gotten closer, you’ve made me wish for things I’d never dreamed of.”
