Page 85 of Vince
“I remember knowing something was wrong in an instant. And it was like the world just went into slow motion,” I try to explain.
“The officers wore the most unreadable expressions, and, in that instant, I knew something was wrong. Vanessa must’ve sensed it, too, because she reached for Julia, trying to protect her from whatever news they were there to deliver. Of course, I reached for the two of them to shield them from what I could. But it was useless.”
I know I have to get through the worst of this. But, God, I still feel guilty, even now. My chest feels like a vise grip tightening with each second that ticks by.
“There I was, having the time of my life, and my parents were dead, and I didn’t even know it. I’d fallen asleep on the bus ride home, so I didn’t even know there had been an accident. I’d wondered why I hadn’t seen my parents but just figured they were giving me my space at the party. They were fucking dead in a ditch, taking their last breath.”
When I glance to Sydney, her unshed tears from before are streaking down her face. “I’m so sorry, Vince.”
Not wanting to be distracted, I force myself to continue as clinically as I can manage. But damn, even after all these years, it’s so fucking hard to tell this story.
“When they asked us to confirm our names and who our parents were, they suggested we go inside to discuss the matter further. I’m not even sure we knew how we got inside, but the next thing I knew, we were in our family room sitting on the couch beside each other, and the officers had pulled chairs up to face us as they explained the events of the evening. Apparently, they guy who’d run them off the road ran off the road himself a few miles away and was twice the legal limit with his blood-alcohol levels. He managed to survive but didn’t remember hitting my parents at all. We later found that this wasn’t his first brush with alcohol, and he’s still in jail to this day, paying the price of that evening.”
“Ohmigod.” Sydney sniffles.
“Those months that followed were the hardest of my fucking life. If I didn’t have Vanessa and Jules to keep me sane, I’m not sure I would’ve made it. Well, Jules is probably what saved us both. We were determined to let her have a normal life, so we’ve done what we could to pick up the pieces and keep her stable world intact.”
“You mentioned before that you transferred to CRU, but I never understood why until now.”
“Yeah, I was supposed to go to school on the East Coast, but thank God, my parents made me apply here as well. After we told the dean of admission our story, I transferred here with ease.”
“That’s incredible of you,” Sydney says as she wipes the tears from her eyes.
“I don’t know if I’d call it incredible. I’m here for selfish reasons as well. After losing my parents, I wasn’t ready to leave my twin or niece. They’re literally the only family I have left. I’ll move heaven and earth to make sure they have all they need.”
“Oh, Vince,” Sydney says, seeped in admiration.
“It was one hell of a summer. Van and I realized we couldn’t live in our family home without our parents. It was too fucking hard. Everywhere we turned, we felt like it was a time warp, and we couldn’t move forward… ya know?”
God, I hope she understands. Explaining this is way harder than I ever imagined.
When Sydney nods, I continue, “Thankfully, Dad was a planner. We have college funds to pay our expenses now and trust funds with their inheritance when we turn twenty-five, but selling the house made it so we wouldn’t have to have many monthly expenses, especially since we live together, and our home is paid off.”
“That has to make things easier,” Sydney says as she brushes my hair from my face.
That simple act alone makes me fall even harder for her.
Well, that and the fact she isn’t looking at me with pity. I can’t even describe the expression on her face, but it’s more with revelry, or respect, than remorse. My chest loosens, and I relax now that she knows my truth.
“It does. We still work because our college and trust funds didn’t cover health care. But overall, I can’t complain. We’re giving Jules the best life she can have. I think we’ve done a decent job so far.”
“I’d say more than decent,” Sydney admonishes. “That girl is fucking incredible, and you’d never know there had been hardships in her life from the looks of her.”
I sigh heavily when I think of Julia. “She’s already had so many things happen that she just accepts as normal. A sperm donor that wanted nothing to do with her, the loss of her grandparents and only babysitters she’d ever known. Van and I are just doing the best we can to put her needs first, to make sure she knows she’s loved and has stability.”
“Uh… you do so much more than that. I’m in awe of you and your sister. When I lost Grams, I was a fucking mess, and I’d had a chance to prepare for the loss for months before it happened. You and Vanessa had your lives ripped from you, and you’ve done an incredible job of overcoming your adversity, if I say so.”
Shrugging, I admit another truth, “Failure isn’t an option. My dad drilled it into me that Vanessa needed to follow her dreams. So when he died, I felt it was my place to take over his wishes for her. Do you know that less than fifty percent of teen moms even graduate from high school—and only two percent of them graduate from college before they’re thirty?”
“Holy shit…” Sydney’s nose scrunches in disbelief. “I knew the odds were low, but that’s crazy.”
“Yeah. But I’m not gonna let that happen,” I say with determination. “There’s no way in hell we’re gonna come this far—to only get this far. I have zero doubts Vanessa will graduate next year. We’ve only got four more years until our trust fund kicks in, and we’ll both be debt free and college graduates, too.”
“I have no doubt about that.” Sydney’s smile makes my stomach flip with her sheer confidence in me.
We stare at each other for a wordless moment. I take this time to brush away the last of the wetness under her eyes. The tenderness and compassion I feel in this moment is the balm I never knew I needed. Now that she knows my truth, the burden I’d been holding by harboring this part of my life is lightened.
I know without a doubt, I can trust her with just about anything. I just hope she’ll accept my reality and not let this get in the way of any future we may have together.
