Page 101 of Damien
“Momma, can I get something to eat? I’m hungry.”
Vanessa looks at the long line at the counter and back to Julia and then to Zach with an expression that makes me wonder if they still have unfinished business. Instead of letting things get awkward, I offer, “Come on, Squirt; let’s get you something to eat.”
When relief washes over Vanessa’s face, I know I’ve done the right thing. Julia hops to my side in an instant and reaches for my hand. “Thanks, Dame.”
Looking to the table, I ask, “Anyone need anything else while I’m at it?”
Vanessa quickly says, “No, thanks. I’m good,” as Zach shakes his head. His eyes keenly lock onto his daughter as she leans into me and wraps her other arm around mine. His lips flatten into a straight line, and his eyes become guarded.
Yeah, man, I’m a lucky bastard. I know without a doubt how amazing this girl beside me is. Whatever his excuse, he’s missed out, and no amount of time or effort will change the fact he’ll never get those days back.
Hell, I have no idea if he regrets not being in her life, or if he’s just a sorry good-for-nothing, deadbeat dad. I probably shouldn’t judge his situation until I hear more from Vanessa. But as Jules clings to me, I can’t help but wonder his story.
As soon as Jules tugs me in the direction of the line, I look to Vanessa to ensure she’s okay with being left alone again. With a quick nod from her, I focus my attention to Jules. “Okay, Jules. What looks good?”
As we wait in line, Jules rambles over her decision of what to get, while I pretend not to focus my attention on the conversation at the table nearby. I’m far enough away that I can’t make out their actual words over the noise around us, but I’m certain Vanessa’s at least open to talking with Zach.
Once Julia and I get to the counter, she orders a chicken sandwich and an apple juice. Surprisingly, instead of running back to her mom, like she’d normally, she stays by my side. Grabbing my hand, she leans into me again as we wait.
By the time we return to the table, Zach looks to his watch then stands reluctantly. “Look, I’ve got a ferry to catch if I want to see my buddy in Bremerton. You’ve got my number. I’d love to stay and chat, but he’s expecting me.”
“I understand,” Vanessa says. “I’ll call you when we’re back home.” Then she stands and quickly hugs him. “I’m glad we ran into each other. I’ll be in touch.”
Zach turns to Julia and stares for a wordless moment. Then he swallows and finds his words. “It was nice meeting you, Julia. I hope you enjoy the rest of your time in Seattle.”
“Dame is taking us to the Space Needle tomorrow!” she exclaims.
Looking between the three of us, Zach smiles and nods. “The view from the top is spectacular. I’m sure you’ll have a great time.”
An alarm buzzes from his phone. Apologetically, he looks between Vanessa and Julia. “I gotta run, but I’ll be in touch.”
Those simple words have my heart clenching and my mind racing as déjà vu hits me like a ton of bricks. Those final days with Amber flash before me. At one time, I thought I was in love with her, but my feelings don’t even hold a candle to the way I feel about these girls in front of me. There’s so much more at stake, and I’m not sure I can handle the repercussions if this ends the same way.
When Vanessa nods, he doesn’t say another word but pivots in a well-practiced move from being in the Navy and walks away. I’m surprised he doesn’t look back as he retreats. He’s either got his heart on lockdown, or he doesn’t care. Either way, I find myself watching him exit the building because now more than ever, I’m afraid of what I’ll find when I finally make eye contact with Vanessa.
34
Damien
Vanessaand I go through the motions of sightseeing with Julia for the rest of the day. For the most part, we do our best to ignore the giant elephant in the room and just focus on the here and now. Hopefully, Julia is none the wiser to each of us being distant throughout the day. Obviously, we can’t discuss anything in front of her, and the tension between us thickens as time wears on.
I manage to make it through the day by repeating the mantra,this is not the same. Vanessa’s not Amber.However, no matter how I spin this in my mind, it’s exactly the same—and my gut twists even further.
By the time we get back to the hotel later that evening, I offer to go out and get some snacks, while Jules takes a bath and gets ready for bed. We have promised she could watch a movie at the hotel and as the smart five-year old she is, she has claimed we can’t watch a movie without snacks. So here I am, driving to the nearest grocery store.
When my phone rings, I accept it without looking at the caller ID because I’m sure it’s likely Vanessa thinking of something she’s forgotten.
“Hey, what did we forget to put on the list? I’m pulling into the store now,” I say on a laugh.
“Well, dear…” my brother Derek chortles. “A million bucks and a nice juicy steak sounds amazing.”
“Wouldn’t we all like that,” I snort.
“I was gonna ask if this is a bad time, but I’m sure you’ve learned to multi-task and can talk and shop at the same time.”
“Yeah, I’ve picked up some skills… adulting and all.” I pretend to grumble, but he knows better.
“Hey, man, I’ve got something I wanna run by you,” he says, all joking aside.
