Page 58 of Damien
Just start with the beginning.
“I… need you to know something.” I look to the floor, hoping to find the answer for how to rip off the proverbial bandage and get this over with quickly.
With a finger, Damien lifts my chin to meet his eyes. “You can tell me anything, Vanessa. Please know that.”
“I’m sure you’ve been with lots of girls…” I start but stop as soon as I realize I don’t want to go down that slippery slope. I’d rather not think about him with other women right now.
“Okay…” he draws out, but neither confirms nor denies my accusation. When I remain quiet for longer than necessary, he attempts to prompt me with, “But….”
“But I haven’t…” Jesus Christ, just spit it out, Van. “I mean… I don’t have a lot of experience.”
A sexy, yet reassuring smile spreads across his lips. “This isn’t a competition, Van, and I’d rather not keep score.”
“Obviously, I’m not a virgin—with Julia and all—but the night I got pregnant was the one and only time I’ve had sex.”
There. I’ve said it.
Damien’s jaw drops right along with my stomach.
Crap. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.
Then he quickly recovers as his eyes fill with sincerity. “Thank you. That is something I’d much rather know… but please don’t feel pressured to do anything.”
“I don’t,” I spit out faster than I intend. “What I mean is… I want to be here with you. I just don’t want to do something… or not do something that you would or wouldn’t expect.” Fuck. “That made no sense.”
Damien steps closer, places a hand at the base of my neck, and guides my eyes to meet his while cupping my cheek. “Okay… let’s get one thing straight. Communication is everything. I need to know what you’re thinking and feeling, so I can be what you need, too. I have zero expectations for us in terms of how far we go—or don’t go. I’m man enough to know that I want you to be a thousand percent ready for when we take that next step together and if you’re not ready or feeling it, I’m perfectly okay with that, too.”
This man. He’s so sweet. But if honesty is what he’s asking for, honesty is what he’ll get—even if I have to swallow my pride in doing so. “I guess… I’m… just afraid that you won’t want me… you know… because I’m not very experienced. You’ve got plenty of other women who’d happily be with you… and…”
Damien furiously shakes his head. “Stop. Just stop. No more self-doubt. Let’s get one thing straight. I willalwayswant you. You’re smart. You’re sexy. You’re fucking unbelievably driven. You’re one of the best moms I know, and most importantly, you make me feel things about myself I’ve never felt before. You make me want to be a better man. You make me want to take a chance on being in a relationship, and most important… you’re making me fall for you.”
He takes in a slow and steady breath but never loses eye contact.
“I could give two fucks about whether or not you’ve screwed one man or a million. No—I take that back. I’d go insanely jealous with the thought of a million guys knowing what an incredible woman you are… so let’s just stick with keeping things between you and me. When you’re ready to take things to that next level—we will. Until you are—we wait.”
Holy shit. Did he just say that?
“I didn’t want things to end,” I admit. “I just wanted to let you know, so you didn’t think I was hiding things from you. I rather liked how things were progressing. I honestly won’t know until we get there… if I’m ready for sex. But I know for the first time in over five years, I’d like to consider it a possibility.”
Dipping his head so we’re eye to eye, he says, “You take the lead, Van. I enjoy being with you, but I’ll never make you feel pressured to doanything, ‘mkay?”
“Got it. Now can we go back to making out?” I suggest. Coyly, I smile in his direction as I push him toward the bed. “I rather liked that—and I definitely want to spend time with my tongue on your abs.”
Shaking his head, he chuckles as he backs toward the bed. “You’re quite the vixen, Van.”
When his legs bump against the foot of the bed, I playfully push on his chest. “Glad you think so. Now get on that bed, so I can go on a treasure hunt.”
“Holy fuck…” he mumbles through a shocked grin.
When he falls back, he brings me with him. The moment we land, he tickles my waist, and I burst into fits of laughter. “Two can play that game. Be careful what you wish for,” I warn as we roll around the bed, filling the room with laughter.
It doesn’t take long before my lips find his, and I kiss him for all I’m worth. This man understands me in a way no other has. It’s like he was given a key to a locked chamber, and I’m coming alive in his presence.
His fingers trail over my rib cage and along my back. When I reach back to release the clasp of my bra, he beats me to it. The moment my breasts fall free, he takes one into his hands and guides my nipple to his mouth to nip and suck in such a way that all I can do is throw my head back and enjoy the sensation. Holy… Ohmigod, what is he doing to me? “More…. Please…” I pant.
Shifting our bodies so that I’m lying on the bed, Damien covers me with his body as he trails hot kisses from breast to breast, along my collarbone and down my stomach. In this moment, everything I’ve always been self-conscious of disappears. I no longer care that I carry extra weight around my middle, that I have stretch marks, or that I haven’t been with a man in years. All that matters in this moment is him and how he makes me feel.
I squirm like hell under him, trying to find a way to release the pressure building inside me. My ears thunder with my heartbeat, and my clit strums at an even faster beat. God… I need… more…
