Page 62 of Damien
Though I’ll admit we spend most of Saturday at my place, after getting the call from Cora’s mom, we venture out to get her a change of clothes and grab some dinner. Afterward, we walk along the river and end the night actually watching the movie I’d originally invited her over for.
Early Sunday morning, the sun has barely made its presence, but enough light shines through my curtains to make out the beautiful woman beside me. My over-sized tee she asked to wear to bed is pooled around her waist, and her blue cotton panties are sexy as hell. My fingers itch to trace circles along her spine but knowing she rarely gets to sleep in, I keep my interaction to eyes only.
The more I get to know the amazing woman beside me, the more I’m in awe of her. Thoughts to the conversation at dinner with Julia come to mind. I can’t even imagine what it would’ve been like to be a teen parent. Then to lose her parents? Fuck. I’d be rolled up in a ball, rocking in the corner—not conquering the world one day at a time.
Leaning back against my pillow, I stare at the ceiling, recalling Julia’s comments about their accident. As much as I want to know more, I haven’t allowed myself to ask Vanessa about the details. We’ve been having such a great time. Why would I dampen her mood? Clearly, it still upsets her—as evidenced at the baseball game.
Resilience is just another attribute I’m learning to love about Vanessa. Hell, my life has been like Pollyanna, compared to the tragedies she’s endured. Punch after punch, Vanessa just gets back up and swings back at the world that’s tried to knock her down.
Yes, she has Vince’s help but from what I can tell, the two of them are essentially on their own. My siblings are basically adults, with the exception of Davis in med school. But we have amazing extended family we can count on, too, to get us through whatever life throws at us. Who does Vanessa, Jules, and Vince have besides each other?
When Vanessa rolls over and flings her leg across my torso, I know in this instant—if she’ll let me, I’d like to be someone she can count on, too. I’ve never been one for commitment—my family can attest to that. But with Vanessa… the thought of not going all in physically makes me ill.
I’m drawn to her in a way that’s more than just attraction. Ever since Amber, I’ve been scared as hell of letting someone close to me. Not only did she give me a royal mind fuck, but she made me realize I was better on my own. Thank fuck, I finally saw the signs and ran—not walked in the other direction from her.
But Vanessa’s different.
Vanessa’s kind and loving and won’t think twice about putting others’ needs first. Hell, she does it each and every day. Not only is she an amazing mom, but she’s a supportive sister and will make a fantastic nurse someday. I just know it.
“What are you thinking about over there so seriously?” comes out on a long, adorable yawn. “It’s waaayyy too early for contemplating world domination, Dame. What’s going on?”
The hand that had been resting on my chest comes up to cup my cheek. Her thumb naturally brushes along my scruffiness and it feels amazing.
“Honestly, just how amazing you are.”
“Oh, geez. You haven’t. You’re not allowed to be so sexyand sweetin the morning. That’s just not fair to all of mankind.”
Now who’s being cheesy?
“I’m not being sweet. Just telling the truth,” I admit. “I guess I was wondering how you do it all? Raising Julia. Going to school. Sure… you have Vince, but you’re essentially on your own. I’m in awe—that’s all. Can’t I admire you?”
“You’re ridiculous,” she guffaws. “I’m more of a hot mess than a hot catch, Dame. Trust me. Half the time, I’m just fakin’ it ‘til I make it. If I believe it enough, it has to come true, right?”
If only she could see herself through my eyes.
“Have you been up long?” she asks, changing the topic.
“A while.” I shrug.
“Ohmigod. Are you—like—naturally an early riser? I’d never willingly know there are two five o’clocks in a day if I didn’t pull the early shift at the diner so I can spend my evenings with Jules.”
“I’m afraid it’s out of habit. Once I started working full time, I’ve never been able to sleep in—no matter what time I go to bed.”
“That’s just…. Wrong.” She shakes her head. “Though Julia is the alarm I never have to set, so I don’t sleep in much these days either, I guess. But it’s not natural. Just a necessity.”
“Speaking of Jules…” I trail off, wondering if this is the wrong time to ask about her parents. “At dinner the other night, she said something.”
“Oh, God. What did she say?” she asks as if she’s trying to recall our conversations. “It wasn’t bad, was it?” She cringes at the end.
“No. Not really. It’s just…” I start but quickly clarify, “I’m curious about something…. But… I’m fine waiting until you’re ready, too.”
Vanessa’s face fills with alarm, so I sputter out the rest of my thought so that she doesn’t have to worry about something Julia may have done.
“It’s just… Julia mentioned there being an accident…” I trail off, then quickly add, “We certainly don’t have to talk about anything. But I wanted to make sure I heard her right.”
Nodding slowly in understanding, she says, “Yeah. I lost both my parents when Julia was two months old. She’s never known them, but we’ve let them live on through our memories.”
Holy shit. She had a newborn and lost her parents within months of each other?
