Page 96 of Damien
“Zach.” My voice clearly shows my shock though I’m not sure why. I was certain it had been him.
His dark-brown eyes are wary, and his lips purse. I know this look. It’s the look he has when his confidence is gone, and he’s unsure of himself. After a few moments of awkward silence, his eyes dart to a nearby table, and he tilts his head in that direction. “I… uh…” He looks to me then the table once more. “I… uh, know I have no right to ask you, but can we sit for a few minutes?”
Zach’s well over six feet and from the looks of it, he’s even better physically fit than I remember, but his cocky swagger I remember from high school is nowhere to be found. He’s never been a shy person, so this must be difficult for him.
Somehow, I manage to remain calm and much more collected than I feel. My mind swirls with questions, but it’s best to just let him get what he has to say out there.
“Sure,” I agree, knowing I’d rather confront whatever he has to say head on.
I’m no longer the young, gullible girl he knew in school. I’ve always known at some point we’d need to have this conversation; I just didn’t expect it to be today.
“Thank you,” comes out rough and whispered.
With much more confidence than I feel, I slip into the seat at the high-top table beside me, and he takes the chair across from me. Looking him over, there’s something different about him that I can’t quite pinpoint.
“How have you been?” he asks with genuine concern.
There’s no malice in his voice like the last time we spoke. But I can’t help but wonder, “Why do you care?” I shock myself by saying it aloud, which causes him to smirk as he nods.
“Okay. I deserve that.”
We’re both silent for a few moments as he looks to the sky then back at me. When our eyes meet, his narrow. He inhales deeply, and a hand runs down his face as he releases it. He starts to say something but stops.
It takes everything in me not to pepper him with questions, but somehow I manage to stick with my original one.
“Seriously…” I start, needing to know why he approached me. This awkward silence is killing me. “Why do you care?” This time, of course, all snarkiness has disappeared because there’s something about the way he’s looking at me that makes me feel as if this isn’t the time to be petty.
“Look,” he sighs and looks to the table for a moment. “I know I have no right to ask. But I genuinely am curious how you are. I know I pulled a total dick move back then, but I’m not that same person anymore.”
“Trust me. None of us are,” I agree.
“No. You don’t get it. I couldn’t tell you everything.”
“Couldn’t or didn’t want to?” I hedge. Everyone has a choice, and he clearly made his.
His head hangs in shame, but his eyes find mine. “Couldn’t.”
“You made your choice a long time ago, and I have written proof of it,” I remind him sternly. Nothing he says or does is going to change the choice he made.
His eyes widen in shock, and he quickly shakes his head. “No. You’ve got it all wrong. I’m not here to make things more difficult for you. I honestly want to just know how you’re doing and clear the air, so to speak. I certainly don’t expect or deserve anything from you…” he trails off then shrugs. “Including this conversation.”
All I can do is nod in agreement because everything he’s said is true.
But pulling a dick move on him won’t make things better either.
Summoning all my inner strength, I pull in a long breath, then take a sip of my drink.
“To answer your question, I’m doing much better now.” My manners get the best of me, and I tack on, “How are you?”
He ignores the question and presses on. “I heard about your parents. I’m sorry for your loss. Your dad was a great man. I owe him everything.”
What? Why would he owe my dad anything?
“I don’t understand?” I admit, trying to connect the dots.
“You see, I’d been in a group home when we met,” he starts as he plays with the bottled water in his hand. “I guess at the time, I didn’t tell you because I’d been too proud to admit I’d come from nothing. I was put in the system when I was six and bounced around from home to home, until I ended up being too old. I knew I would age out before anyone adopted me.”
Holy shit. How did I not know this?
