Page 98 of Damien
“Van?” he whispers, drawing my attention. “I’m so sorry. I think he would’ve once he knew I’d made good on my promise and straightened my act. You have to understand, I was trying to do what I thought was best for you. We were so young, and all the shit I was in would’ve brought you down right along with me.”
Millions of questions rush to my lips, but I stick with the most important. “What do you want from me now?”
“Nothing. I can’t ask anything of you. I lost that chance years ago. But I wouldn’t be opposed to being friends—well, at least not enemies. I’m sure you hate me for all that I’ve done—and I deserve that. I get it.”
“I never hated you,” I admit. “I knew we were young and as much as I liked you—we weren’t in love. I just didn’t expect you to disappear the way you did. But thank you for shedding some light on that. Julia’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Without her and my brother Vince, I would’ve never survived my parents’ death. I’ve never regretted getting pregnant with her, because from the moment I came to grips with my pregnancy, I loved her.”
Zach says nothing but nods in understanding.
“It hasn’t been easy, but I have zero regrets. Does that make sense?”
His voice is filled with emotion as he whispers, “Yeah. I think I understand. But what… what does she know about me?”
Guilt flashes through me as I see the deepest regret in his eyes.
“Uh, I honestly don’t know. She’s never brought it up, and neither have I,” I admit.
“Do you think…?” he starts, then stops, and stares at a hole in the table as he chooses his next words carefully. Once he’s formulated his thoughts, he looks to me with unshed tears. “Look. I don’t want to cause any trouble for you or more importantly, her. But do you think…” he trails off as he swallows hard. “Do you think I could meet her?”
I seriously have no idea what to say, as I swallow down the swarm of emotions engulfing me in this moment.
“It’s completely up to you, and I have no right to even ask. I understand that more than you know. I’m not looking to upend her life or change anything. You can even introduce me as a friend from high school. She never has to know if that’s how you want it. I totally respect that, too. It’s just… it’s hard to be this close to her and not at least say hello.”
“I… uh…” God, what do I do? Can I just go over there and introduce the two of them, as if he’s my long-lost friend? Should I tell her who he is? Someday, she’ll want to know.
“Look, I’m not trying to create chaos in her life. If you want to tell her who I amsomeday, I’ll respect that. I will. And if you never want to say anything, I’ll live with that, too. If you need me to walk away and not look back, I’ll accept your choice. I’m not trying to pressure you in any way. Please know that.”
The sincerity in his eyes lets me know he’s telling the truth.
“I know,” I mutter, taking a long pull of my drink through my straw to buy me more time.
Looking to heaven, I ask the universe,what should I do?
And the universe answers as Julia hollers, “Mommy, look. Look What Dame got me!”
33
Damien
Thirty minutes earlier…
“Van, you sure you’re okay?”
Blinking as if she’s just been brought back to reality, Van glances at the restroom doors nearby. “I’m just going to pop in here for a minute. Do you mind keeping an eye on Jules? It’s not that big of a place. I’m sure I can find you if you move on from this area.”
I want to be there for her, but I can tell she needs a moment to herself, too. Sighing, I pull her to me and hug her, and I kiss the top of her head. God, I love this woman. I’d do anything to take this torment away from her. Who knows if she’s seen her ex, but either way, she needs a break from Jules to reset herself.
“Sure. Take all the time you need.” Holding her longer than necessary, I spot something that just might bring her out of this funk she’s in—and give her a way to relax. “Hey, there’s a café over there with caramel macchiatos. Why don’t you get yourself one of those and relax a bit? Don’t worry about Jules. We’ll just keep exploring.” I know I’ve said the right thing when she relaxes into me.
In all too short of time, Jules exclaims, “Hey, Dame, check this out!”
Chuckling, I shake my head and release Vanessa. “Duty calls. I’ve got this. Go.” I point to the café. “Relax.”
My feet feel as if they’re filled with cement as I walk away from Vanessa. But knowing Jules needs my attention, I make the most of it. Being with her is effortless, and my worries melt away momentarily as I get lost in her world.
To give Vanessa a chance to relax, I encourage Julia to explore a new part of the museum. We’re in luck when we round the corner and find they’re starting a live octopi presentation. We’re lucky to grab a front row bench. Jules can barely contain her excitement as she eagerly looks at the different tanks in front of her.
As soon as Chris, our official guide to the world under the sea, introduces himself, he starts by asking the crowd questions. Jules participates eagerly by sitting on the edge of her seat and raising her hand, in hopes of getting called on. We quickly learn everything from the fact there are over three hundred different octopi species, to what they eat, and even that they can live up to five thousand feet under the ocean.
