Page 85 of Jackson
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Jackson
It felt so good to have her in my arms, to inhale the scent of her. When I’d seen her standing in my bedroom, my mind froze initially. I’d hope she’d return; I had no idea it would be sosoon.
“What made you come back?” Iasked.
“I think, in the back of my mind, I was always coming back. I just needed to give us both time. We spoke aboutit.”
“We?”
“Dexter and me. We’ve been speaking over the past month, I often rang to find out how youwere.”
“He never said. I’m not entirely sure I like decisions being made aboutme.”
“It worked though, didn’t it? You haven’t done anything, have you?” She hesitated over herwords.
“I haven’t cut, and other than fucking my wrist up with the constant wanking, I’ve been waiting for you for anythingelse.”
I watched her blink a few times at my words, and then a large grin spread over her face. She started to laugh until tears rolled down hercheeks.
“Are you laughing or crying?” I asked,concerned.
“Both, I think. Oh, Jack. I’ve missed you so fuckingmuch.”
I pulled her close to my chest and sighed. “You have no idea how much I want you here. I even thought about flying home. I’d do anything for you; you know that, right? I will kick this, it’ll take time, but I don’t want that life anymore. I want something else, I want you and afuture.”
“But can you stop, just like that?” sheasked.
“I doubt it, but when you left all I focused on was you. I drew you, I pictured you in my mind, it drove out the shit and hisvoice.”
“Will you tell me about that night, the night Dane…?” shewhispered.
I didn’t need to ask what she meant. “You asked me that once before, would it make adifference?”
“I don’t know, but you know exactly what happened and I don’t want any doubts about you keeping things from me. Good or bad, tell me thetruth?”
“He was never faithful to you, Summer, and that killed me. It killed me that he didn’t know what he had in you. It killed me that your face lit up when you saw him, and I knew what he’d been doing just a half hour before. I hated him; I hated what he did. I stuck around because of you. We’d been to a bar with a couple of the guys. Dane wanted to go to a strip club, there was one he used alot.
“We got drunk and I got pissed off watching him. I wanted to leave, he didn’t, but I wasn’t about to sit around anymore, knowing what he’d do. I left, and he followed. We walked across the bridge and he started shouting at me, he asked me outright if I loved you and if that was why I hung around. I told him that was true, so he took a swing at me. I pushed him away but he kept on swinging, rotating until he’d backed up to the wall and lost his balance. He fell. I didn’t get to him quickenough.”
She stayed silent for a while. “But you said you killedhim.”
“If I’d stayed in the club, if I’d kept my mouth shut, it wouldn’t have happened. If I’d done the right thing and stayed away from you, it wouldn’t havehappened.”
I shifted slightly on the bed so I could look at her. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she silently cried. I brushed my thumb under one eye catchingthem.
“I’m so sorry. I never told you because then I’d have to tell you why we argued. I’d have to tell you everything hedid.”
“You’re not telling me anything. Did he fuck thosewomen?”
“Yes.”
She slowly nodded her head. “Why didn’t I know? Why was I not good enough?” sheasked.
“You were too good for him, Summer. Way toogood.”
“Am I good enough foryou?”
