Page 67 of My Lord
He chuckled. “Okay, I do love to fuck with them occasionally.”
“And that stops you moving forwards.”
His smile slipped a little. “Maybe,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
“Do you want to settle down with someone?” I asked.
“Sure, I just haven’t found the right one. I mean, we’re not easy men to love, are we?”
There was no doubt we were very similar. “What about a family?” I asked, although I remembered what Gabriella had said, he could still meet someone with children, or adopt.
“Not sure. You?”
“Not sure,” I replied, and then laughed.
I heard a noise outside and looked up to see Gabriella walking away. I wasn’t aware how much of our conversation she’d heard and why I hadn’t seen her at the doorway, unless she hadn’t been fully visible.
“Everything okay there?” Mackenzie asked.
“No idea. She told me she loved me. I couldn’t say it back and it wasn’t because I don’t… something holds me back and I don’t know what it is.” I decided to be honest in case she’d said something to him.
“She knows you’re holding back. She thinks it’s because you believe she’ll leave to head back home. There’s nothing stopping you following her, Alex, if that was ever the case.”
I didn’t answer, but simply nodded. If I could understand, truly, what was holding me back, I’d be fine. I thought, originally, it was because she was American and could leave, but I wasn’t sure anymore.
My heart told me that I loved her; I just couldn’t get my brain to stop coming up with excuses.
Mackenzie left and I called her but the call went to her voicemail. “Hi, can you call me when you have a minute?” I asked.
I placed my phone back on down. I was too distracted to work and I looked at the pile of folders on the desk. All of Mackenzie’s businesses in the States were in there. If Gabriella ever wanted to go home, I had a job, I knew that. If I sold my flat and liquidated other assets, I’d never have to work again. Of course, there was Mother’s paintings and her apartment that would eventually come to me. But I needed to work. I was used to getting up at the crack of dawn to check the money markets, working through the night and then catching a few hours’ sleep during the day. I loved the hustle of working, of negotiations, even just having something to do during the day. My golfing buddies, Len and Pete had retired young. They spent their days on courses all around the world. That wasn’t for me. I’d be bored shitless.
I called Gabriella again and left another voicemail. “I’m heading home to work, it’s a little too distracting here. I’d love to chat, and if you’re free, maybe dinner. I’ll call again soon.”
I gathered up the files and headed for the car park. The journey home was long even though my apartment block wasn’t that far from Canary Wharf. The traffic was appalling. According to my driver, there had been yet another terrorist attack and London was on lockdown again. I stared out the window at endless lines of people going about their day not knowing if it might be their last. I sighed and wondered what on earth was becoming of the world that running over, stabbing, and blowing up people was becoming so normal we weren’t necessarily affected by it anymore.
Would I want to bring a child into a world like that?I thought. I couldn’t honestly answer.
* * *
I had poured myself a glass of red wine and was halfway through the pile of folders. I hadn’t taken any notice of the time, but the sun was dipping over the horizon. Mackenzie sure liked to dabble in many different types of businesses. He had bars and hotels, fine, that went in the entertainment pile. He had a car restoration company and I guessed that might have been to help out a friend. He invested a lot in manufacturing, that could all be grouped together. I didn’t think, for one minute, he’d be able to consolidate the lot and bring it under one umbrella, it was too diverse. I couldn’t imagine one CEO that would have the knowledge to manage the lot.
I heard a click and it startled me. Then I chuckled as Gabriella walked through the front door. She placed some delicious smelling bags on the kitchen table as she walked towards me.
She leaned over the back of the sofa and kissed my neck. “I bought dinner as an apology,” she said.
“An apology for what?”
“Not replying to your messages. I wasn’t ignoring you, time just flew today,” she replied with a smile.
“Well, thank you. And no apology needed. I’ve been going through Mackenzie’s folders,” I said, indicating with my arm the various piles.
“Makes for an interesting read, doesn’t it?” she said. “I’ve got Thai, is that okay?”
“Thai is perfect, and yes, it does. He said he wants to consolidate, I’m not sure that’s entirely possible but I do have some interesting thoughts to share.”
I stood and raised my glass. “Can I pour you one?” She nodded as she removed her coat and walked into the bedroom to hang it up.
I loved that she felt so comfortable that she would just move around the apartment as if she lived there.
