Page 101 of Finding Jacob
Back at the house, I opened a bottle of wine and we both shared it. We sat in the snug and chatted. We didn’t talk about us, or Jacob, just gossiped and he told me a little of what he was doing in Jacob’s business.
“So, you’ve had to send a team to protect a ship in Sudan?”
“Yeah, the company wants to make sure the ship, and its contents, gets to its destination safely.”
“How do you recruit these people?”
“Ex-military, mostly. We have contacts in the forces, they’ll often recommend us to anyone leaving. And a friends of friends, kind of thing. We don’t advertise, obviously, but we’re never short of fresh blood. I started this business with Jacob.”
“Have you always workedin itas well?” I asked, wondering how he had the time to work with me.
“Yeah. I can work anywhere, so the times I was with you, I just needed access to a computer. We never had offices; everyone works remotely. I’ll introduce you to Philip, if you don’t mind, he’ll have to come here to meet with me soon.”
I’d heard the name and knew him to be Jacob’s assistant.
“How many staff are there?”
“We employ over five hundred people in various countries.”
My eyes grew wide. “Wow, that’s some company then.”
“The largest of its kind. We’re in great demand because we’re good at what we do.”
“Did you fly around the world as well?” I asked.
“Only for meetings. Neither Jacob or I have done security or protection work since we left the forces ourselves. Did you know the government employs us as well? Not every soldier you see on the telly is from the Army, you know.”
I didn’t know, but it didn’t seem to be a surprise.
“Anyway, enough about that. What about you?”
“Deflection. You’ve always been very good at that.” I laughed as I spoke.
“You know more about me than anyone,” he replied.
“I think I need my bed,” I said.
Nathan stood and held out his hands to me. I took them and he pulled me to my feet. I didn’t let go of his hands, we just stared at each other.
It would have been so easy with him,I thought. But it wouldn’t have been fair, on either of us.
He hugged me, kissed my forehead, and bade me a goodnight. He was staying over, and I was grateful for that. I didn’t like to be in the house alone, it was too big. He walked away, leaving me standing in the snug. I picked up the glasses and headed back into the kitchen. I left them by the sink and then turned off the light. The hallway was illuminated by a couple of lamps, and I used that light to guide me up the stairs. I paused on the landing.
Left was to my bedroom; right was to Nathan’s. He stood at his door. I paused on the landing staring at him.
I felt I was at a crossroads. Nathan would have welcomed me with open arms.
I turned left.
CHAPTERTWENTY
I spent a couple of days just pottering around the house, walking Paloma in her pram around the garden, and thinking. As much as I talked myself into believing nothing had changed between me and Nathan, it had. There was no way we could ignore his feelings, and no matter how much he said he’d take whatever relationship I gave him; I also knew that he’d grow frustrated at some point. The worse thing that could happen would be for him to hate me.
I loved him; I didn’t love him in the way he needed me to. I loved Jacob; I wasn’t sure whether he still loved me. Confusion swirled around my brain. I needed to really be away from it all for a couple of days. Perhaps if I distanced myself, I might get some sense of where my life was taking me.
For the first time, I hadn’t sent Jacob a goodnight text. I’d been too tired and too emotional after the revelations of the day. I hadn’t, also, sent him a text that morning. I should have, but I suspected he would have been told the outcome of the case anyway. I didn’t feel bad, I felt like I should have, but taking a break from all of it, was sounding more and more tempting. I headed back indoors.
While Paloma slept, I fired up my laptop. I was going to book a long weekend away somewhere. Just me and her. I hadn’t driven a car in yonks, but I still could. I had my Porsche in the garage, but it was too small for us all. Jacob’s Bentley sat beside it.
