Page 39 of What's the time, Mr. Wolfe
I grabbed a jumper and slipped it on, then crept downstairs. I didn’t want to wake Grandma, but I needed to check she would be warm enough.
After satisfying myself that she was okay, I decided to check the boiler and then make a hot drink to take back up with me. The lights were on, suggesting the boiler was working, so I’d have to leave it until the morning to figure out why the bedroom was cold.
I made a tea and as I passed my laptop, I picked that up as well. It was highly unlikely I’d get straight back to sleep and maybe reading something might clear my mind of my dream.
Once I was back in bed, with the jumper still on, I opened the laptop. My email account was still open, andSebastian had replied. I hovered over it, not wanting to read, but knowing I couldn’t ignore it even if I tried.
Good evening, Ruby. It’s late. I imagine you’re in bed. There is no need for any form of repayment. I wanted to do this for you, and I won’t be returning the clothes, either. They are yours to do what you will with. I’ll have them delivered to you over the weekend. I understand your hesitance, but I’m here if you need me. Always. Sebastian.
I read it a couple of times.Always. He had said he felt compelled to look after me, or words to that effect, but I wasn’t sure I believed that. You don’t just bump into someone and need to pay for them! Although, I didn’t feel like a charity case with him. What he’d done and continued to do came from a good place, and like I’d said, I wasn’t going to refuse the help I needed.
But did I need the clothes? Yes and no.
Did I need him? I didn’t like the answer that immediately popped into my head.
I’m awake. I had a nightmare, my usual one, but you were in the woods this time. You were chasing me, and I didn’t know if you meant me harm or not. I kept running towards a house, the one I drew, but I never got there. I made a cup of tea and I’m goingto read, take my mind off it. Thank you for the clothes. I will accept them, I need them. Not so much the party frocks, but they might be nice to play ‘dress-up’ in sometimes.
I pondered on whether I should send the reply for a few minutes, and then I did. Maybe I’d regret that, perhaps not.
Maybe you need to make your dreams more realistic, achievable. You chasing something and never getting there suggests one of two things. You don’t actually want to. Or it’s just too far away to grab right now. Small steps, Ruby. You will get your house in the woods one day, but perhaps you need to place something in front of that house. Something smaller, something you can achieve quicker. Seb xx
He'd shortened his name and added two kisses! Perhaps I was overthinking it, since I was an overthinker, but he had saidsomething smaller.
He’d made his name smaller. Was he suggesting that I could get to him quicker than my house in the woods?
I was aware the house in the woods was a metaphor, of course. Not that I’d turn down a house surrounded by countryside. It symbolised my place of peace, of acceptance of my life, I believed.
It was also a place of forgiveness. I needed to forgive myself of my sins to really be able to move on life.
I turned the laptop off so I didn’t respond, and drank my tea. I tried to clear my mind of all thoughts of woods and houses and Sebastian. Although that was hard to do. When I settled back down, I must have drifted off pretty quickly. I didn’t remember dreaming when I woke the following morning.
I hated the weekends more than weekdays. I’d had college to keep me occupied when Grandma was sleeping, which was a lot, or watching her tv shows, which was all the rest of the time. The house was clean, the bed linens washed and ironed. I had a cupboard of clean towels, fluffy and not rough and scratchy for once. All I had to do was bag up the carpet left in the front garden, and maybe I’d start to get some nice winter flower beds going. I wasn’t a gardener, but Grandma liked to look out the window and see colour. The grey road and dirty red bricks of the opposite houses weren’t very enticing.
Once I had her settled in front of the television, I pulled on my red hoodie. I had a bundle of rubbish sacks and I started to screw the cut-up carpet into them. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Some bags tore, and I swore, getting more annoyed at my stupidity,thinking I was doing the right thing by removing the carpet in small sections. I knew I could call the council and ask them to remove the carpet for a fee, but I wasn’t sure they’d do that in a bundle of black sacks.
“Do you need help?” I heard. I didn’t need to look to know who had spoken.
“No, I’ve got this,” I said, panting as I stomped on a larger piece of carpet that wouldn’t bend.
Sebastian stood by the gate and watched me. I snuck a glance. He wore jeans and a polo shirt; I was sure he should be cold. He sipped from a takeout coffee cup, holding another in his hand. At his feet were the bags of clothes.
“Okay, I’ll just watch then,” he said, smirking at me.
I continued to fill the bags, double bagging when they split, cursing under my breath, and wiping sweat from my eyes with the cuffs of my sleeves.
When I had the last bag done, I stood, placing my hands on my lower back to stretch it out. “Shit,” I said.
Then I finally turned to look at him fully. He held out the cup. “I imagine it’s cold now,” he said.
I reached out for it; I didn’t mind cold coffee. “Why are you here, Sebastian?” I asked, gently.
“Because I might not beyourreality, but you’re mine.”
I stared at him, and then gently shook my head. “I don’t get it. You could have all the Amelia’s in the world.You’re wealthy, good looking, great at... you know. I’m just me, a poor woman trying to make ends meet.”
“Oh stop with thewoe is mecrap, Ruby,” he said, and his tone startled me. It also pissed me off.
“The what?” I asked.
