Page 24 of Belonging to Them
“That’s not okay, Ella,” I say.“The whole reason you have the guards is so they can protect you, and they can’t do that properly if they don’t have all the information.”
“Look, we want to know everything that’s going on with you,” Sebastian says.“We’re a team, right?”
Ella nods.“Yes, of course.”
“And that means we share things,” he says.“You’re allowed space to think things over, and so are we, but in the end, we shouldn’t be hiding important shit, right?”
“Right,” she says.“I’m sorry.”
My own thoughts are swirling through my mind.I want her to be honest.I want her to feel like she can tell us anything without shame.To me, we’ve been through hell and back already, and we’ve laid the contents of our hearts bare before each other, all three of us.But she’s still holding back.
“I’ve disappointed you both,” she whispers, looking between us.
I don’t know what to say, but I can tell if I don’t say anything, the moment will crash and burn and it might take Ella with it.So I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.
“You scare us.You scare me, baby girl.Because I love you so goddamn much and I just want to hold you close, keep you safe, and make you happy.That’s all I want now.”
Sebastian nods.“It’s the same for me.I don’t give a single fuck about your brother acting like a creep, except for how it makes you feel.I’m so fucking mad at him right now, for putting you in the kind of headspace where you felt you couldn’t come to us with this.”
I drop to my knees at Ella’s feet and wrap my arms around her legs, pressing my head against her thigh.“You’re my little girl, but you’re also my queen.Like I said earlier, everything of mine, is yours.”
Bash drops to the floor next to me and mirrors my position at Ella’s feet.“Everything of mine is yours.Princess.Queen.Benevolent, sexy-ass goddess.”
She giggles and threads her fingers through my hair.If I were Schrödinger, I would purr.
Ella says, “So…you’re not going to punish me for this?”
Bash and I look at each other and our demonic chuckles are low and full of filthy plans.
“Oh, we’re fucking punishing you,” Bash says.“But it’s ’cause we love you, not ’cause we’re mad.”
A couple of hours later, after Ella’s cries of pain and pleasure have echoed off the bedroom walls to all of our satisfaction, she falls asleep between us.Her breathing is soft and even.I glance over at Bash.He’s wide awake, eyes open, staring at nothing.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”I whisper.
He shakes his head and whispers back, “Nothing.Asshole at the jam session got into my head.”
“What’d he say?”
“Bullshit, I think.I’ll get over it.”He strokes his fingers along Ella’s arm and whispers, “She’s so achingly young.”
He says it like he’s changing the subject.
But I don’t think he’s changing the subject.
SEVEN
Ella
The practice room at the university is sweltering, but for some reason, it helps me concentrate.I could go to Sebastian’s place and work there, but sometimes the polished space makes me feel like I can’t make any mistakes.This cramped little practice room helps the “anything goes” vibe, freeing my creativity.If it’s all shit, that’s fine, because nothing is recorded, the A2 key on the piano is slightly sharp, and sections of my notebook have been erased so many times, the paper is tearing.
It’s perfect.
Sometimes, messy is perfect.
I’m working on a new song, a break-up anthem.It’s forcing me to remember how things were with Joel.Looking back, I cannot believe I was such an idiot.
I wantedto be loved
