Page 64 of Belonging to Them
“Oh, he is,” I say, but I decide to spare her the gorier details of the kidnapping and car accident.I don’t want to dump my trauma all over the poor woman.Better to change the subject.“How about you and Tommy?How’d you get together?You said something about how he came to your diner all the time, and then what?”
“He kept asking me out.Took me a while to say yes.Took even longer for…you know.”She blushes.“Sorry, you definitely don’t want those kinds of details about your brother!”
“Yeah, we can skip over that part,” I say, laughing.“And the pregnancy?Nosy question, but it doesn’t seem like it was planned…?”
“No, not planned,” she says, cradling her hands over her belly.“But desired just the same.It took me a little while to notice I hadn’t had my period.And even after that, I didn’t believe it, because we were using contraceptives.But sometimes things fail, even an IUD.It’s super rare, but it happened to me.”
“Yikes,” I say.I have an IUD.I never thought of it failing.
Come to think of it…when was my last period?Holy shit.It’s been a while.What is it, one week late?Two?My deli sandwich and fries sit uncomfortably in my stomach.
“Ella?”Gianna says.“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”I force a smile.“Lunch is suddenly not agreeing with me.”
“Nauseous?”she asks.“I have these ginger candies, they helped with my morning sickness, but I don’t need them anymore.Here, take a pack.”
I am not pregnant, I tell myself.
“Thanks.”I take the ginger candies and pop one into my mouth.It doesn’t do much to soothe my anxiety, but I smile in the right pauses as I tell Gianna I should probably get back to my place.
“Of course,” she says, hugging me outside the deli.“Thank you so much for lunch.I feel like…like maybe we’re going to be good friends.”
“I would love that,” I say sincerely.
“I hope you feel better,” she says with a wave goodbye.
My stomach is fine, physically.Emotionally, I’m shaken to my core.I need to get somewhere quiet and look at a calendar.I don’t track my periods because the IUD has made them irregular, but I still do get them.When was my last?
* * *
Sebastian
When I get back to King’s place—no, it’s my place now, too—Ella’s sitting on the sofa.She isn’t reading, she isn’t watching a show.She’s literally staring at a blank wall.Schrödinger sits in her lap, but she isn’t petting him or paying him any attention at all.It’s odd, but I’ve been known to stare into space while I work on lyrics or chords inside my head, so I go to the kitchen for a glass of water.
When I come back, she hasn’t snapped out of it.
“Let’s record that duet,” I say, putting a hand on her shoulder.
She jumps and startles the cat.“What?”
“Sorry,” I say with a laugh, “I didn’t mean to scare you.Everything okay?”
“Yeah.”Her lips tilt up at the corners in a tiny smile.“Lost in thought is all.What did you ask about just now?”
“I was just thinking, if you’re ready to work with me on something, what do you think about recording that duet, where your song matches up with mine?We don’t even have to post it anywhere if you don’t want to—it can just be for us?—”
“I’d love to,” she says, beaming at me.
Something’s off in her eyes, though.She looks sad.The signs are subtle, but they’re there.
“What’s wrong?”I ask.“Still worried about your brother?”
“Yeah.”Her shoulders sag.“I just wish we had some news that’s more thanstill working on itorno news is good news.”
“I’m sure both of those statements from Ironwood are true,” I say, trying to move Schrödinger carefully from Ella’s lap and getting my hand swiped at in the process.“But I get it—they don’t sound particularly helpful right now.”
“No, they aren’t.”
