Page 73 of Belonging to Them
Ella whisks into the kitchen, two canvas shopping bags looped over her shoulders.She stops short when she sees King and me standing here.Then her gaze travels to the purple and white box.
“Oh, shit,” she says.
NINETEEN
Sebastian
“Oh, shit, is right,” I say to Ella.“Do you want to tell us what’s going on?”
She avoids my gaze.Kingston’s, too.Her movements are slow and purposeful as she sets down the bags of groceries.
Carefully, she leans against the kitchen island on the far side from where Kingston and I are standing.She picks up the little box and shakes her head.A small smile is on her lips, but there’s no humor or happiness in it.
From her reaction, I can guess she’s not actually pregnant.But I have to ask.
“Is there something you need to tell us, princess?”I don’t mean to sound so angry, but all of my frustration, and yeah, some of my disappointment that she obviously isn’t pregnant, come to the surface.
Her eyes immediately fill with tears.Kingston’s at her side in an instant, the sucker.
“I’m sorry,” she says, taking his hand.“I was just so, so stupid, and I got myself all worked up over nothing.”
“So there’s no pregnancy,” Kingston guesses aloud.
“There’s no pregnancy,” she says.“I didn’t think there was, not really, but I couldn’t remember when I last had my period, and the way Gianna told me how she got pregnant—while using an IUD—freaked me the hell out.”
No pregnancy.It’s okay, I guess.I don’t know why I’m feeling sad about it.Thirty minutes ago, I had no idea this was even a possibility, so having the chance taken away right now shouldn’t be a big deal at all.
“Bash?”Ella says.
I still haven’t moved.
Kingston clears his throat.
“You’re upset with me,” Ella says.
“I guess,” I say, “I’m a little angry.You were freaked out, you felt stupid.I understand those emotions.What I don’t understand is why you were feeling them in the first place andnot talking to us about it.”
Ella gnaws on her lower lip.“You’re right.I should have.I don’t have a very good reason, other than I was just freaked out, like I said.A part of me wondered if you guys would think I got pregnant on purpose, like Kingston’s ex-wife did.Or if you would believe it was an accident, but not want the baby.I didn’t even know ifIwould want to keep a baby right now.There was a lot going through my head.I worried you’d be mad and want to break up, too.”
“Ella, what part offorever, no matter what, don’t you understand?”Kingston asks.
She smiles over at him.“Well, now I realize it was dumb to think you’d want to break up.But in the moment, I was panicking.”
“And then afterward?How long ago did you take the test?”
“Yesterday morning.”
“We were together after that, and you didn’t say anything?”Kingston asks.
“Well,” she says, “sometimes I need space to feel my feelings, I guess.”
I give up—I can’t stay mad at her.And she’s right—her feelings are her own.As much as I’d like to extend my control into her psyche so all she ever feels is happiness and light, that’s not how people work.
I go around the kitchen island and wrap my arms around her.“I wish we could’ve felt those feelingswithyou, but I understand, I think.You needed time to process everything, is what you’re saying?”
“Yes, exactly.”She squeezes my forearms where they come around her waist, then moves my hands so they rest against her lower belly.“In the future, where do you two stand on children?Yes, no, maybe?What happens in the event of an unplanned pregnancy?”
“I always thought it would be cool to be a dad,” I admit.“But for so long, I thought I was an abusive piece of shit, and an alcoholic.No way did I want to bring a child into the world and have them stuck with me for a father.Ella,ifyou had been pregnant andifyou’d wanted to keep the baby, I would’ve been there with you, a hundred percent of the way.”
